Archive for the ‘Terrorism’ Category

New York Only Has a Couple Of Ninjarinas

Asian conductor to ballerina on train carrying scissors, needle and thread: You know, I could confiscate those scissors. Since 9/11 they are really strict.
Ballerina: I'm just sewing my shoes, they're to cut the thread.
Asian conductor: Some of us would just take them. I won't, I'm just warning you. The needle too. There is this place in the neck you could stick the needle and paralyze someone. (walks away)
Ballerina's seatmate: He watches too many ninja movies. –Metro North

Bet This Pisses Off Osama More Than You

Lady #1, looking at Time Warner buildings: Oh, look, it's the twin towers!
Lady #2: Well… but like, those aren't the real Twin Towers… cuz, they like… fell.
Lady #1: Well, they're twins too, aren't they? –Columbus Circle Headline by: Chuckles Runners-Up:
· “Oh, Look! The Octo-Towers!” – Octomom
· “Some Porn Movies Shouldn’t Even Try to Have Dialogue” – Twin Peaks
· “They’re Fraternal, Right?” – Chelsie
· “Yeah, the Anorexic Looking One Is the Mary-Kate Tower” – Errrrrn
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Subway Preacher Tip #403: Know Your Audience.

Jamaican man: The biggest issue of our society is not terrorism but men lusting after women's butts! If you lust after women's butts you will burn in hell! Women, do not show off your butts for you will burn in hell! Do not wear jeans or tight pants! Make sure you cover up your butts!
Passenger: I love the butts.
Jamaican man: Do you have no soul? The lust of the women's butts will only bring you to the devil! Please save yourself and stop lusting after the butts!
Passenger: Who loves the butts?
All men on train: Yay butts! –Uptown 4 Train Overheard by: white girl with a big butt wearing tight pants

Americans Prefer to Learn About Other Countries by Invading Them

Female yuppie, looking at cover of New York Times: Wow. Look at that picture!
Male yuppie: What is it?
Female yuppie: It's like, some Al Qaeda guy walking in the water with all his guns and stuff.
Male yuppie: Where is he?
Female yuppie: I don't know. Algeria?
Male yuppie: I didn't know there was water in Algeria. –Crossroads Cafe, Brooklyn

I Think I've Seen This Seinfeld Episode…

Young Jewish guy #1: You know how you're allowed to make jokes about 9/11 if you're from New York?
Young Jewish guy #2: Yeah, totally. You're definitely allowed to do that.
Young Jewish guy #1: Exactly. It's just like a Jew being able to make a joke about the Holocaust.
Young Jewish guy #2: Of course. It's like a rite of passage or something. –Pier 3, Brooklyn