Archive for the ‘The Bronx’ Category

Every Little Wednesday One-Liner Helps

Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?

–English Department, Hostos Community College

Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!

–1 train

Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!

–1 Train

Overheard by: sagehen

Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!

–F Train

Overheard by: yana

Nothing Makes Me Come Like Some Zyklon, Redux

Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me. –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: Smack Jack Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will. –92nd Street Y Overheard by: Kelly

Wednesday One-liners Eat Churro

Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean. –LaGuardia

They May Have Earned It

Hobo #1: ‘Nigger’ is the new ‘fuck.’
Hobo #2: Say what, nigga?
Hobo #1: I say ‘nigger’ is the new ‘fuck.’
Hobo #2: What you talkin’ ’bout, muthafuckah?
Hobo #1: Used to be, you wanna shock people, you say ‘fuck.’ ‘Fuck’ don’t shock nobody no mo’. E’rybody say ‘fuck’ now. But you say ‘nigger’ and motherfuckers be divin’ under tables, people lose they jobs, lawsuits be flyin’ every which-a-way…
Hobo #2: That’s only white people, man.

–E 157th & Walton, Bronx

Overheard by: Big Larry