Customer: I’m looking for a book. The computer said it was in stock when I was here before but it wasn’t on the shelf. Can you check to see if it’s saying that it’s still in stock?
Clerk: Sure.
Customer: It’s called Drag Diaries.
Clerk: Yeah, it’s saying that there’s one in stock but we sold a copy in May. That might be the one we’re showing as still in stock.
Customer: Right.
Clerk: It would be in gay studies. You can check again.
Customer: Then do you have anything on crystal healing?
–The Strand
Archive for the ‘The Village’ Category
Our New Motto
Perceptive woman: Anytime you overhear people, if you only hear a second of what they say, it’s always completely stupid.
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Without a Yarmulke
Young Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew. – 6th Avenue, West Village
Mr. Popularity
Yuppie #1: I admire the fact that your friends are so intelligent. Most people I speak to are single cell organisms, undergoing mitosis as I speak.
Yuppie #2: Then why do you speak to them?
Yuppie #1: They’re the only ones who call me
– Bond Street Starbucks
…And Wake Up in Strange Beds
Young Woman: I don’t think you should do as I do. I mean, I drink a lot. –Greenwich Village Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Maybe Your Straw is Too Thin
Man: These girls love the orange juice taste, but they just can’t handle the pulp. –Bubby’s, Hudson St. Overheard by: Megan Buckley
And What’s Her Number?
Guy: She does the hard stuff first. She leaves the fun and easy stuff for the end. –Funayama, Greenwich Village
Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Loss Plan
Guy: Spam with Cheez Whiz. That’s my new diet. –Funayama, Greenwich Village
Old MacDonald Had a Gay Bar
Gay Guy #1: How’d you like that trough?
Gay Guy #2: What trough?
Gay Guy #1: The trough you pissed in.
Gay Guy #2: Oh, I loved it!
–Slide, East Village
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Paging Def Leppard
Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me!
–Lord & Taylor
Overheard by: Megan Buckley