Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny! –24th St b/w 6th & 7th Overheard by: Joseph Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do. –12th St & University Place Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change? –87th & Broadway Overheard by: Nynanny Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish. –McLean Ave, Yonkers Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted. –Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn Overheard by: craig hunter
Guy #1: Dude. Don’t hold my hand; that is so gay.
Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand? –Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Romany
Girl: So you’re saying there might be a chance?
Guy: Yeah…if her husband leaves her, I’m next in line. –Lafayette St. at Cooper Square
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too! –Bleecker & Broadway Overheard by: smokincat
Thug, taking a drink: Yo, this water’s mad wet. –Murrow High School, Brooklyn Guy: I mean, I don’t want any bok choy in my chakra. –12th & Broadway Overheard by: aryn
Asian tourist with map out, blocking walking crowd: Excuse me, I’m looking for Houston street…
Suit, with high-pitched sarcasm: Really? [He keeps walking.] –Houston & Broadway Overheard by: a
Girl: What I really want is a guy who is kind of skinny and almost homosexual.
Fat male passerby: I can be that guy! –14th & 2nd Headline by: h Runners-Up:
· “But One Who Isn’t a Scientologist and Didn’t Star in the “Mission Impossible” Movies” – Hostrauser
· “Drew Carey Believes He’s a Hipster.” – Stephalee
· “I Can Be Seven Of That Guy” – Belvedere Jones
· “I’m Not Skinny, but I’m All the Way Homosexual–it Balances Out.” – KarenD
· “It Was Rosie O’Donnell” – Jess K.
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Chick: If we ever do go to Vegas, we have to see a brothel!
Queer: Isn’t that where monks live? –Rubin Hall elevator, NYU
Fat black girlfriend: Remember when I used to get high and see dead people in my house?
Nerdy white boyfriend: What? –7th Ave & 1st St
Teen girl #1: I'm thinking about buying more clothes!
Teen girl #2: Clothes! Lets go shopping!
Teen girl #1: I know! Dad's money is the best! –2nd Ave & 12st St Overheard by: James