Putting the Red back into Red State

NYU Girl #1: I like that one!
NYU Girl #2: Are you kidding? It’s an abortion of a dress!
NYU Girl #1: I like it. I wish the government would pay for it too.
NYU Girl #2: No hope of that now. –Window shopping on 6th Ave. & 8th St. Overheard by: TankGirl

I Also Learned to Like Other Things

Guy #1: Did you know that I never liked broccoli until I went to jail?
Guy #2: Is it your favorite meal?
Guy #1: Of course! –Porto-bello, Thompson Street

Overheard at Our Favorite Pizzeria II

Fratboy: The cute Asian girl. You know how everyone has a nickname? That’s hers: the cute Asian girl. And she always smells so good! –Joe’s Pizza, Carmine St.

Let’s Put The Rum Back in Rum Cake

Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too. –Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street Overheard by: alice ayers

A Liberal Use of the Word “Wow”

Guy: So…after she says that, I said, “Who would have ever thought to just cook lettuce?”
Girl: Woooooooooow. –Bedford Street off Bleecker

Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart. –Broadway & Waverly Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne. –Midtown Office

One Can Only Imagine How

Guy: We’ve got to tell Allison, because she had Paulreubens.com until he made her stop. –8th Ave. & 6th St.

They Speak Portuguese in Spain, You Know

Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain. –Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village

Technically That Means That We Suck

Art Dealer: Have you been following the election? Are you going to vote?
Man: They both suck. –Washington Square Overheard by: Ray Hannigan

I’m Michael Malice, and I Overheard This Message

Strand Guy: Hey, John! How are you?
John: Seven days, man. Seven days.
Strand Guy: Hopefully the world will be safe for democracy.
John: I dunno. Halliburton has some no bid contracts.
Strand Guy: You believe that?!
John: Yeah. –Strand Basement