Yuppie: There is in fact a fundamental difference between Ray’s and Webster’s. One is a series of restaurants that sell pizza; another is a book that you can look up the definitions of words in. –Party, The West Village
Haircutter: So she wanted me to put wax in her hair. And I told her I didn’t have any, that it’s $19 a bottle and if I get some for everyone I’ll go through it in no time. So she says that I should buy it for my customers. If she likes it so much, she should go buy it herself. I mean, it’s one thing if the cunt were a good tipper. –Astor Place [Translated from the Russian]
Fratboy: The cute Asian girl. You know how everyone has a nickname? That’s hers: the cute Asian girl. And she always smells so good! –Joe’s Pizza, Carmine St.
Chick: Remember when I got drunk off that cake?…Kate was there, too, but she has better tolerance and I was skinnier then, too. –Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street Overheard by: alice ayers
Guy: So…after she says that, I said, “Who would have ever thought to just cook lettuce?”
Girl: Woooooooooow. –Bedford Street off Bleecker
Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart. –Broadway & Waverly Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne. –Midtown Office
Guy: We’ve got to tell Allison, because she had Paulreubens.com until he made her stop. –8th Ave. & 6th St.
Man with joint: Hey lady, wanna get high?
Girl: What are you, a freak? Don't bother me, asshole.
Man: No, I'm a dope dealer.
Girl: Oh, sorry, I thought you wanted a date. I'll take two dimes.
–7th & Bleecker
20-something gorgeous gay man wearing tiara: He wouldn't tell me where he was, so then I said “let me smell ya dick!”
20-something drop-dead hot girl: Something's rotten in Denmark.
–Bleecker & W 4th
Large man #1, watching women delivering flowers: (grumbles)
Large man #2: What? What do you want flowers for?
Large man #1: They might open up, you know, look pretty.
Large man #2: No! You don't get no flowers! You're a man!
–Community Center, East Village
Overheard by: Flower Power