Female 20-something: People used to get dressed up to go to the theater. Now people are here in jeans and UGGs.
Flouncy 20-something wearing cowboy boots: I used to wear UGGs, but I wasn't getting checked out by the kind of guys I want to get checked out by.
–Imperial Theater Line
Overheard by: Emily
Archive for the ‘Theater’ Category
Fun-Size Wednesday One-Liners
Jewish guy on cell: I finally got evangelized this week! (pause) It wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be.
–121st & Broadway
Lady on cell: Have fun with the… what do you call them… Oh, people!
–Shakespeare in the Park Line, Central Park
Overheard by: Megan W.
20-something male looking at painting: Hangings probably aren't as fun as they look.
–MoMa
Kid to his mother: Wow! The critics were right, this is the most fun you can have while sitting down!
–Outside Hairspray
Overheard by: DeDra
Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait
Random girl: I think PETA should be informed any time an animal is fully submerged in a vagina.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Jen
20-something platinum blonde to another: Her vagina… Her vagina must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.
–7th Ave & 12th St
Girl, about her play: I don't think people are going to laugh about the vagina being killed on stage… Yeah, no one's gonna laugh when the vagina dies.
–NYU
Dude questioning another: What do mean by "moderate Taliban"? Like the women can wax their vaginas?
–Elizabeth Street
Young man shouting on cell: Then just tell her you don't like her vagina!
–26th St & Park Ave
Soon Only Middle-Aged Gay Men Will Love Lady Gaga
Old man to teenagers dancing in line ahead of him: What are you kids listening to? Looks like fun!
Teenage boy, aggressively: We're dancing to Lady Gaga's “Bad Romance.” You don't know her.
Old man: I love her! I'm seeing her concert at Radio City Music Hall!
(teenagers stare, speechless)
–Metropolitan Opera, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: James
The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners
College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.
–Central Park
Overheard by: ruegah
NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.
–NYU Tisch Building
Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Preston
Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.
–Music Hall of Williamsburg
Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.
–Borders
It Raised the Nation's Spirits After Iran-Contra
12-year-old girl: Did you hear what I said about really famous people?
Uninterested mother: No.
12-year-old girl: Well, this will be my first time seeing a really famous person, not just a famous person. Because Full House was important to everyone!
–Mills Theater, before Performance of Bye Bye Birdie
Wednesdays Pad Their One-Liners
Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!
–Wagner College
Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.
–Winter Garden Theatre
Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sunny
Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: David
To Bang or Not to Bang? That Is the Question.
Woman #1, after play ends: I didn't know Hamlet died at the end. I was so surprised!
Woman #2: Jude Law was still hot, though.
–Broadhurst Theater, 44th St & Broadway
Which Is Loaded With Subject Matter
Ticket seller to woman, about toddler: Well, he can come, but there is, you know… Subject matter.
Woman, sighing: The boy watches SpongeBob.
–Fela! Box Office
Overheard by: Patrick
Have You Ever Faked a Wednesday One-Liner?
Guy on cell: We get a little crazy wearing real pants. If we go to the store or something, we'll find ourselves bickering because we're wearing real pants.
–Washington Square Park
Traffic cop, motioning people to move quicker to clear the intersection: C'mon, people! They're real cars, they hit real hard!
–Broadway & Houston
Incredulous 30-something to tourist parents, during intermission of The Lion King: Well, I'm just really disappointed. I thought there were going to be real lions.
–Minskoff Theater
Overheard by: Not at the Circus
Lady in glasses on cell: Being naked is being real.
–West Broadway & Thomas St
Overheard by: Alex S.