Archive for the ‘Threats’ Category

Exactly Half

Hipster guy: And then we wandered down the street into Bed-Stuy, like into the projects, and these guys were screaming at us, like, “You in the wrong part of Brooklyn, white boys!” …but Marcus is half black!
Hipster girl: Oh, so it's not entirely ironic when he freestyles? –Hayden Residence Hall, NYU

Ew, Who Wednesday One-Linered?

Elderly janitor, watching pierced teenagers get in line: I'm gonna fart on one of these people. –Broadway & Houston Angry man on cell: They think they're so perfect, but I bet they piss and burp and fart like the rest of us. –80th St & 34th Ave Hobo: Can you spare some change? I need to buy some new underwear, I farted and shat in these. –83rd St & Broadway Overheard by: new girl in town Tiny brunette: Have you ever had to pee so bad, and suddenly you fart and then you don't have to pee that badly anymore? –7 Train Young woman to friend: Yeah, and then she started fartin' a bunch. But she was farting out of her pussy. And Ashley got pissed, cause then, she started makin' a beat out of it. –125th St & Lexington Overheard by: Stephen

Smells Like Wednesday One-liners

Girl: Don’t walk me behind me, I’m about to fart. –Times Square station Girl: God, it smells like an armpit farted in here. –Rififi, E. 11th Street Overheard by: Miso Guy on cell: Baby, baby, please, listen, I just, I’m almost there, c’mon, I’m comin’ up on your building now, baby, don’t be like that! Look out the window and you’ll see me! Shit, you can smell me, baby. –12th & D Fratboy: My shorts smell like a little boy’s balls. –Coney Island beach Overheard by: Alissa Woman: Just so you know, it smells like someone urinated in there. –Banana Republic, 16th & 5th Overheard by: beth wren