Archive for the ‘Three is Company’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Just Do It

20-something on cell: So yeah, I hit a new low. So you know how I had sex with Dan, Steve and Dave? Well, I totally just handled my friend from work who is married and we did it in his daughter's bed. If that doesnt say I'm crazy, I dont know what does? (pause) Are you kidding me? His wife never gives it up, that man busted four times in a matter of minutes.
(pause). Well, that's now four men this week who said I have the best pussy they've had. –159th & Broadway Overheard by: morgan Girl: She was fucking everybody in this city–and no one even liked her! –Houston & Lafayette Overheard by: bRonwyn 20-something man to girlfriend: You're a grown woman! I can't help it if you're a whore! –7 Train Overheard by: becky z-dub Girl on cell: Wait, so you and Skylar are dating now? Ahh, so exciting! (pause) No, you didn't already tell me. You said that you woke up next to him. Since when does that mean you're dating someone? –Bedford & 8th 20-something blonde on phone: All those people who laugh and snigger at you only do it because they too have experienced the walk of shame. –Christopher & Bleecker Man on phone: I can't be constantly wondering who you're sleeping with! I tell you, I'm tired, I'm old, and I can't do what I'm supposed to do. I'm a good 60, but I ain't good enough to be waking up everyday and chasing you around! –Coffee shop, Crown Heights Overheard by: Eric Hipster on cell: I don't see what's so wrong with going up to someone on the street and saying, "hey, what's up? Let's fuck!" I do it all the time! –Great Hall, Cooper Union Overheard by: NYUTSOA12

The More the Merrier, Wednesday One-Liners!

Elderly woman sipping wine: Three girls and one guy? Sounds like a good time! –Queens Overheard by: amused cashier Dude on cell: Hey bro, whatcha doing? Oh, yeah? What about your friend, does he like doing that? Does he like it a lot? Do you think I can come over? Well, then we can all do that together, a lot. (sees people looking at him) I'll talk to you later, bro. –Church St Post Office Overheard by: deshaunicus Serious girl: And then they asked for a three-way, but a tasteful one. –15th St & 5th Ave Middle aged woman to friend: I just got this bike seat but I have to return it. I was riding around on it yesterday and when I woke up this morning, I felt like I'd been gang-banged by the Pittsburgh Steelers. –Bike Shop, 12th St & Ave B 20-something chick: I am *so* over threesomes. There's just too much going on! –Weight Room, Coles Gym Overheard by: M.F. White chick in sundress: I'm too naive for their kind of orgies. –Dallas BBQ, 165th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Drunk guy at bar: I have to pee, but first I have one word for you: threesome. –Crocodile Lounge

Where in the Wednesday One-Liners Is Carmen Sandiego?

Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know. –Outside Cubbyhole Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers. –Bleecker & W 10th St Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup. –Rockefeller Plaza Overheard by: linda Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood. –SoHo Overheard by: Ladle Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive. –Concert on The Great Lawn Overheard by: sternie Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you. –Financial District