Archive for the ‘Three is Company’ Category

Wednesday More-Than-One-Liners

Girl to friends: Yeah, I heard she had a threesome and then kicked him in the face.

–Taste of China

Hot blonde: We’ve shared way too much of too many men.

–140th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Italian guy on cell: Okay, if twins have a threesome, is it incest or masturbation? Well, I think they should cancel each other out, so that makes it okay, right? So should I ask her, then?

–96th & 3rd

Overheard by: Haggs

20-ish guy: Just think of that: two niggas and three bitches. That’s a ménage and a half, son.

–A train

Chick on cell: Awww, we missed the gang bang! … I had a bagel for dinner.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: McNasty

I’m Putting You Down As a “No”

Guy #1: Yo, could you ever double team a girl?
Guy #2: Yes. Don’t care if there’s a naked dude right next to me, I’d rail the bitch with him. Eiffel Tower that shit.
Guy #3: Fuck that. I’d feel mad weird being naked next to another naked guy, just banging some girl… Maybe I could do it if I had my clothes on. Like, I could just fuck her through the fly. That way it wouldn’t be weird.

–East Village

Overheard by: Hiromi

A Relationship Is Out of the Question

Girl #1, feeling her breasts: Oh my gosh! I know I’m not fat or anything, but my boobs are so heavy!
Girl #2: Uhhh, yeah…
Girl #1: Something’s wrong — they are way too heavy. Feel them!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think–
Girl #1: –Just do it, seriously!
Girl #2, holding breast: They feel okay…
Girl #1: I think they’re too heavy. Actually hold them.
Girl #2, tightening grip: Uh, have I never told you I’m bisexual?
Girl #1: Oh… Well… Have you ever wanted to date me or something?
Girl #2: Not date you… But I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with you.

–F train

Wednesday One-Liners Have an Amazing Ability to Multitask

Woman: You wanna have a gang bang? Then I’m not being nice today.

–32nd & 6th

Ghetto girl: While you was kissing him he was eatin’ her out.

–Penn Station

Woman on cell: What would I do without you? Who would archive my threesomes?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky

Cabbie, after four girls exit cab: Usually when four white girls get into cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are going to see their man for a gang bang.

–109th & Madison

Overheard by: wish i lived in harlem back then

Little girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!

–Amtrak out of Penn Station

Overheard by: Nipples

Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did everything to the brown-haired girl!

–Bedford Ave, between N 3rd & N 4th

Overheard by: chloe

Blonde chick on cell: No, you wouldn’t like them. They aren’t into orgies.

–Astor Place

From the Trailer for Peter Pansexual

Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.

–23rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…