Archive for the ‘Three is Company’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Have an Amazing Ability to Multitask

Woman: You wanna have a gang bang? Then I’m not being nice today.

–32nd & 6th

Ghetto girl: While you was kissing him he was eatin’ her out.

–Penn Station

Woman on cell: What would I do without you? Who would archive my threesomes?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky

Cabbie, after four girls exit cab: Usually when four white girls get into cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are going to see their man for a gang bang.

–109th & Madison

Overheard by: wish i lived in harlem back then

Little girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!

–Amtrak out of Penn Station

Overheard by: Nipples

Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did everything to the brown-haired girl!

–Bedford Ave, between N 3rd & N 4th

Overheard by: chloe

Blonde chick on cell: No, you wouldn’t like them. They aren’t into orgies.

–Astor Place

From the Trailer for Peter Pansexual

Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.

–23rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…

Wednesday One-Liners Fail the Purity Test

Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.

–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jaina Wald Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Water

Overheard by: Aubrie Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?

–Central Park


Loud teen boy
: Dad, do we need condoms?


–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background! –Union Square Overheard by: Natalie Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broadway Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!

–45th & Lex Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum! –34th St Overheard by: naidababy

Orthodox Mormons Have All the Fun

Guy on cell: Hello?…What do you mean you have bad news?…You’re pregnant? How could you be pregnant?…I thought you were on the Pill? How did this happen?!…I just got engaged to your sister on the 4th of July…This is really bad news…How long have you known?…A week?! Why did you wait a week to tell me?…Your sister is going to go through the roof…No, she doesn’t come back until Monday…So, I’ll see you tonight?…I told you, I just got engaged to your sister. You can’t be pregnant…Okay, have a good afternoon.

He makes another call.

Guy on cell: Hey…You know Claire*?…Yeah, Lauren’s* sister…Yeah, the hot one…Well, she’s pregnant…Me!

–46th between 5th & 6th