Archive for the ‘Three is Company’ Category

A Relationship Is Out of the Question

Girl #1, feeling her breasts: Oh my gosh! I know I’m not fat or anything, but my boobs are so heavy!
Girl #2: Uhhh, yeah…
Girl #1: Something’s wrong — they are way too heavy. Feel them!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think–
Girl #1: –Just do it, seriously!
Girl #2, holding breast: They feel okay…
Girl #1: I think they’re too heavy. Actually hold them.
Girl #2, tightening grip: Uh, have I never told you I’m bisexual?
Girl #1: Oh… Well… Have you ever wanted to date me or something?
Girl #2: Not date you… But I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with you.

–F train

Wednesday One-Liners Have an Amazing Ability to Multitask

Woman: You wanna have a gang bang? Then I’m not being nice today.

–32nd & 6th

Ghetto girl: While you was kissing him he was eatin’ her out.

–Penn Station

Woman on cell: What would I do without you? Who would archive my threesomes?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky

Cabbie, after four girls exit cab: Usually when four white girls get into cab and say, ‘Harlem,’ they are going to see their man for a gang bang.

–109th & Madison

Overheard by: wish i lived in harlem back then

Little girl: I can’t wait to tell my class about polyamory!

–Amtrak out of Penn Station

Overheard by: Nipples

Guy on cell: There was a blonde-haired girl and a brown-haired girl. I did everything to the brown-haired girl!

–Bedford Ave, between N 3rd & N 4th

Overheard by: chloe

Blonde chick on cell: No, you wouldn’t like them. They aren’t into orgies.

–Astor Place

Wednesday One-Liners Fail the Purity Test

Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.

–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jaina Wald Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Water

Overheard by: Aubrie Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?

–Central Park

Loud teen boy
: Dad, do we need condoms?

–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background! –Union Square Overheard by: Natalie Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broadway Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!

–45th & Lex Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum! –34th St Overheard by: naidababy