Crone: It’s 2:30! Shoot me, please. Why did I ever marry that man? –Office, 36th Street
Archive for the ‘Time’ Category
Our Literate Youth
NYU student: “I read the Sunday paper on Sunday–the whole thing–and it really wasn’t that bad! You should try it” Walking in Union Square
You don’t say…
Yuppie in the west village: “The thing about pot is that it slows everything down.”
Return to the Port Authority
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche
“…and by ‘Fort Lauderdale’, I mean ‘Bayside’.”
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
Not Even an Albino?
Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not!
–BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th
Overheard by: Jackie Lee
Mountain Dew: The Drink of Evil
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet.
–Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
The Chorus to a Terrible Song
Woman #1: Are you going to be here for Christmas?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
Woman #1: For–
Woman #2: Yah.
–Duane Reade, Greenwich Village
The Dry Wit Gets Wet
American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.
–Office, Midtown
Work Gets in the Way of My Me Time
Rich Girl: Wow Mallory, you have such a busy week coming up. It’s a good thing you don’t have a job.
Mallory: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Danger