Yuppie in the west village: “The thing about pot is that it slows everything down.”
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think… –Port Authority Overheard by: Michael Roche
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not! –BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th Overheard by: Jackie Lee
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet. –Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
Woman #1, pushing stroller: Where are all the Halloween decorations?
Woman #2: Halloween? It's like… October 5th. Isn't it a little early for Halloween?
–Christmas Decorations Aisle, Michael's Crafts, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Fiammetta
Guy #1: I would never get a tattoo that big.
Guy #2: But it's of a quote that means a lot to me.
Guy #1: Maybe so, but it's permanent.
Guy #2: Well, not anymore…
Guy #1: Okay, true. But it's permanent for the time being.
–Chase Manhattan Plaza
Overheard by: This kind of makes sense
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
Ghetto girl #1 looking at lingerie: Who has the time, really?
Ghetto girl #2: Oh, girl, I do! Hello! You can lick me outta this, you ain't even gotta take it off.
Overheard by: Brooke
Older musician in nice suit: It's Halloween! Hell, every day is a Halloween!
Friend: That explains a lot about you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: stavka