Rich Girl: Wow Mallory, you have such a busy week coming up. It’s a good thing you don’t have a job.
Mallory: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Danger
Archive for the ‘Time’ Category
Pepperoni Dreams
Three policemen are talking to a man inside Two Boots Pizza behind the security gate and locked front door, 9 am Sunday morning.
Cop: How did you get in here?
Man: I woke up here in the middle of the night!
Cop: Do you work here?
Man: No!
–Avenue A
Then Why Aren’t You On A Cell?
Guy: Success is always coming between us. It’s always been that way, and will continue to be that way. –Pay phone, Cobble Hill
That Explains Your Pallor…and Death
Chick: I have very, very, very, very little free time. In a week I might have 15 hours, and that includes sleep! –1st Ave & 9th St.
“C” You Then!
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer. –R train Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
I'd Ask a Man, but They Never Come in Here
Woman #1, pushing stroller: Where are all the Halloween decorations?
Woman #2: Halloween? It's like… October 5th. Isn't it a little early for Halloween?
–Christmas Decorations Aisle, Michael's Crafts, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Fiammetta
Much Like Our Friendship.
Guy #1: I would never get a tattoo that big.
Guy #2: But it's of a quote that means a lot to me.
Guy #1: Maybe so, but it's permanent.
Guy #2: Well, not anymore…
Guy #1: Okay, true. But it's permanent for the time being.
–Chase Manhattan Plaza
Overheard by: This kind of makes sense
Wednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
–116th St
Girl, Watch Your Mouth!
Ghetto girl #1 looking at lingerie: Who has the time, really?
Ghetto girl #2: Oh, girl, I do! Hello! You can lick me outta this, you ain't even gotta take it off.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Brooke
The Don Draper Costume, for Instance.
Older musician in nice suit: It's Halloween! Hell, every day is a Halloween!
Friend: That explains a lot about you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: stavka