Where: Time Square Toys R Us
Cashier: May I have your phone number, starting with the area code, please?
Customer: You’re not my type.
Archive for the ‘Times Square’ Category
There May Be a Shop That Doesn’t
Passenger: Is there any shops in the city that sell Statue of Liberty souvenir statues?
Cabbie: Yeah, I think there may be a shop that sells those right in Times Square.
–Times Square cab
Overheard by: John Aubin
Damn Robots Taking Our Jobs!
Businessman #1: Hey man, guess what I just found out? Martin is a robot!
Businessman #2: I always thought so. At least he’s a good robot.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
It’s Master Shake Who Needs a Whuppin’
Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children. –Toys ‘R Us, Times Square
“…but mostly, I’m grateful for emphysema.”
Guy #1: Hard to believe it’s Thanksgiving already.
Guy #2: Next week.
Guy #1: How much do cigarettes cost in Florida?
–Ranch 1, Times Square
It’s All That Buttered Popcorn…
Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this. –Movie Theater, Times Square Overheard by: Alayna
Tragically, the LP Died
Customer: Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing, “The Girl from Emphysema?” –Times Square
Stop Shaving My Legs, For One
A guy and a girl are standing next to each other, waiting to cross the street. She’s wearing a winter jacket, scarf and hat.
Guy: You’re in trouble.
Girl: Why?
Guy: What the fuck are you going to do when it gets cold?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Anna Ryan
Then Why Am I Laughing So Hard?
Homeless Advocate: A penny for the homeless! A penny is all we ask. Everyone is ignoring me over a penny. Don’t laugh at me. It’s not funny. –Times Square