A guy and a girl are standing next to each other, waiting to cross the street. She’s wearing a winter jacket, scarf and hat.
Guy: You’re in trouble.
Girl: Why?
Guy: What the fuck are you going to do when it gets cold?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Anna Ryan
Archive for the ‘Times Square’ Category
Then Why Am I Laughing So Hard?
Homeless Advocate: A penny for the homeless! A penny is all we ask. Everyone is ignoring me over a penny. Don’t laugh at me. It’s not funny. –Times Square
Someone’s Got S-E-X on His Mind
Guy: You need a new mattress? Why not call 1-800-M-A-T-T-R-E-S?
Girl: Ha, ha! Nah.
Guy: Then there’s gotta be some local places. You should be able to get a mattress for $100.
–40th & 7th
Wednesday One-Liners Will Cut a Bitch.
Middle schooler on field trip: Oh my god, we're gonna get knifed.
–Times Square
Woman on cell: Do you have any chainsaws I can borrow?
–38th & 2nd
Harley Davidson dude to another: So I stabbed that guy, and that guy, and then that guy.
–7th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: NYCQ
Woman on cell: Today is not the day. I can't come to 14th Street or I'll stab you.
–42nd St & Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: Matthew
Wednesday One-Liners in Velour Hats with Leopard Trim
Pimp to player across the street: Yo! Stay over there, this side's for pimps and that side's for players. I'm a pimp. Lemme show you that pimp walk! (starts walking down the street, gets to player) How you like that, playa? That's how we do it, pimp style.
–115th & 7th, Harlem
Overheard by: beeloo
Female college student: Valentine's Day? Girl, pimps don't do Valentine's.
–1 Train
Girl on cell: I feel like a pimp, I say hi to everybody.
–86th & 4th, Brooklyn
Elderly man to even more elderly man: I'm gonna pimp-slap you right down on the street!
–Times Square
Wednesday One-Liners Are Here to Fix the Cable… (Bow Chicka Bow Wow!)
Midwestern tourist woman walking into trashy store: I hope this isn't a porn shop!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jingles
30-something woman on cell: I'm not bringing the baby to the porn convention!
–Hilton Theater
Man on phone: Did you say "corn" or "porn"?
–Onion News Network
Overheard by: Kaze
Man to wife: Don't worry, I don't need to upgrade. That's what porn is for!
–40th & Broadway
Overheard by: mel
You Are from Here
Flyer guy to hot blonde chick: Hey, where are you from?
Hot blonde chick, indignantly: Here.
Flyer guy: What are you doing in Times Square?
Hot blonde chick, rudely: Leaving!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stephen
Thanks, Kind Stranger!
Hopelessly lost tourist: How do you get to Broadway?
Irritable local: Practice.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Crocodile Is the Fabric Of Our Lives, After All.
Girl: Have you seen the new Gucci collection?
Gay friend: Can you believe they're starting to make Gucci clothes for babies? Can you imagine, like, a crocodile onesie?
(friend laughs)
–Times Square
Overheard by: Franfresca P
A Walking Salad Is Not for Everyone
Irritated man to girlfriend: Oh my god! You are so fucking stupid!
Girlfriend: You are so mean! (stops suddenly) Oh my god! I just got ranch dressing in my ear!
–Times Square