Archive for the ‘Times Square’ Category

Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

Sorry, Pal– One Of Your Editors Married Her First

Comedy show ticket seller: Hey! You dropped your scarf!
(girl with scarf around her neck rolls eyes)
Comedy show ticket seller
: Hey, you must live here!

Girl: Yeah, and I work in this fucking area, and you tell me that every single night when all I want to do is go home. (looks at tourists listening) Just so you know, “free comedy show” means two drink minimum, and the so-called comedians are just dumb asses who are not not funny at all.
Comedy show ticket seller: Woah! Marry me, please. I'm not trying to be funny, you are fucking amazing!
Girl: Fuck you.
Comedy show ticket seller to tourists: I'm being serious, she's the woman of my dreams!
Tourists: What?

–Times Square

We’re Considering Branding Wednesday One-liners

Woman: This is my favorite part…of the worst song ever. –MTV Studios, Times Square Man on cell: No, it is not like the time I farted at Target and blamed in on that old woman! –22nd & Park Overheard by: Bill Ray Drunken yuppie guy: I want my Subway sandwich! I want my Subway sandwich! Tuna and onions! Yeah, you heard me. Girls love big cocks. Girls love big cocks! These girls know. I’m on…I’m on Comedy Central! I’m a redneck on Comedy Central! My name is Heywood Jablowme! Heywood Jablowme! Heywood Jablowme! I’m from Texas where girls suck cock for a dime! –32nd & 2nd Woman: Did you hear Cooter wouldn’t endorse that remake? –7 train Overheard by: Todd Horan Guy: God, I feel like I’m trapped in a fucking Hallmark Card. –Central Park Overheard by: Shoshana Latina: …and he looks evil and the Princess is saying to him, “You are a good person” and he looks so evil and then she is with Obi King Wasabi and he said he is on the dark side and then the shorty guy–what is his name?–Yoga said, “He is on the dark side” and then Dark Wader he is with the cape and looks all angry and evil reminded me of me on Mondays. –58th & Lexington Overheard by: Brandy Rowell