Overheard Advice

Guy #1: So I’m not sure what to do.
Guy #2: If you want to know something from somebody, get them drunk. –8th Street N/R Station

Fun with the Homeless

New York’s Friendliest Hobo: Your hair looks nice. MISS! YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD! –Midtown Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Don’t Need No Crystal Ball

Girl: I’m going to do voodoo on her.
Guy: Is she black?
Girl: Yeah. The thing is that whatever you do comes back three times against you, so I’m going to have to do santeria to take it off. –W Train

I’m Enjoying the Sodomy, Though

Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.

–7A Cafe, East Village

..And This is How They Undress

12 year old chick: You see? I told you! This is how the grown-ups dress. –East Village

Diner Fun

Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A

You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Twelve)

Man, in Los Angeles: Cialdini’s Influence is the classic psychological book about how and why people are convinced. Woman: Ah, I should read that so I can learn to convince myself of things.

“Then we had New Year’s in March.”

Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists. –25th St. & 3rd Ave.

Seminal Wednesday One-liners

Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler

Wednesday One-liners

Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz