Tourist father, in serious voice, as if commenting on tourist attraction: Little people.
Tourist daughter: Kids?
Tourist father: No, they're adults. Just little. Did you see the one on the bike?
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Kevin
Archive for the ‘Tourism’ Category
Round Is a Shape.
Female overweight Southern tourist #1, looking at city map: Oh my gosh! Look at how far we've walked today!
Female overweight Southern tourist #2: Yeah! We are, like, sooooo in shape!
–57th & 10th
…I Thought Calling Them Animals Was a Little Disrespectful.
Tour guide with a thick accent: Alvight fovlks, vee are about to stop at the Bronx Soo. Anybovy vishing to see animalz need to get off.
Teenage girl #1 to her friend: I don't wanna see no damn Indians, do you?
Teenage girl #2: No, no, honey, not the Sioux. She was talking about the zoo.
Teenage girl #1: Ohhhhh.
–Uptown NY Tour Bus
And an Angry Mob With Torches
Tourist: So where is Central Park?
Girl: Uhm, right there. (points)
Tourist: Ah! That would explain why that big space has no lights…
–Rockefeller Observation Deck
Overheard by: Bre
Sending a Letter?
Tourist mother: Wait, do they call it ground zero because it's on zero street?
Tourist son: I'm pretty sure that's not why, mom.
Tourist mother: Well, then what's the address?
–E Train
Overheard by: Andrew Larsen
Says the Woman Who Chooses to Live in Omaha?
Older tourist woman to NBC tour guide: So, we are going to see the rock at the top?
Guide: It's called “the top of the rock.”
Woman: Well, that doesn't make any sense?
–30 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Michael
You're Asking Where Here Is?
Tourist girls: Where is Soho?
Ice cream stand guy: This is Soho.
Tourist girls: No, where is Soho?
–Broome & Wooster
…That Involves Rollerskating in a Bikini
Tourist dude #1: You know, New York is exactly like Miami, only Miami is nicer.
Tourist dude #2: I don't know, dude…
Tourist dude #1: And there isn't much to do here!
–44th St & 8th Ave
Wednesday's One-Liner Sense Is Tingling
Black man in Batman suit trying to get tourists to pay to take pictures with him: I got bills! I got bills!
–Times Square
Overheard by: kpan
Traffic cop, motioning in vain for car to stop: I guess my powers aren't working today…
–Citifield, 7 Train Entrance
Teenage girl: I love my physics teacher. He's like a fat, middle-aged Superman.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Large man with heavy accent shouting into cell: Please send somebody–I have just been robbed. (pause) I am on the corner. (pause) What do you mean, "white"? He is a Spiderman! He's wearing a Spiderman suit!
–Stanton & Essex
Tour De Wednesday One-Liners
Large female southern tourist: It'd be really funny if we got stuck on the toilet and couldn't get up. It'd be the whole "help! Get me off this toilet!" thing.
–Bathroom, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Tourist woman to husband: Where's that cop who was here a minute ago? He gave me the wrong directions, and I wanna cuss him out for it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Deeds
Tourist: Is this the building where people go all crazy about the numbers?
–Outside New York Stock Exchange
Overheard by: Kyle
50-something tourist husband to wife, while they share bites of same apple: I don't know why we came to this city… We can't even afford breakfast.
–34th & 7th