Archive for the ‘Tourist Attractions’ Category

Where in the World Are Wednesday One-Liners?

College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.

–Penn Station

Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?

–Times Square

Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…


Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?

–Riverside Park

30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.

–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo

Your Real Parents Are Never Coming for You, Kid

(family stands facing the empire state building)
Tourist son
: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?

Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)
Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.
Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.

–Top of the Rock

Overheard by: Melissa

Send in the Wednesday One-Liners

Ghetto kid at a carnival: Man, that wasn’t no clown. That was just someone dressed like a clown!

–P.S. 218, The Bronx

Overheard by: Children are the future

Fourteen-year-old black girl to friend: You should have thrown a brick at a clown and seen the blood. You would have loved that.

–7th Ave Street Fair, Park Slope

Overheard by: send in the clowns

Little girl, pointing at obvious pimp: Look mommy, look! A clown!


Janitor to clown post-show: Everybody loves clowns. Even Bill Gates!

–Barnum & Bailey Circus

Slightly crazed looking man to well-dressed blonde chick: For $300 you’ll get a clown and a playboy bunny!

–E4th & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: I might consider paying up

And the Gypsies Just Aren’t Nabbing Them Like They Used to

Flustered woman, about her brood: Have we lost anyone yet?
Husband: Ummm… No.
Flustered woman: Well, who are we going to lose first? Because we haven’t lost anyone yet.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Josh

Headline by: Aeirlys

· “Because Abortion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” – Hillary Claire

· “Hobos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” – Krisztina
· “It Looked So Much Easier in Home Alone” – You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Until Fraulein Maria Came Along” – allison
· “Two Roads Diverged in the Woods – I Chose the One My Children Couldn’t Travel” – Drewp

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