Tourist in Vancouver: “I haven’t been able to find a post-office in Vancouver. Where are they?” Waitress: “Oh, the Canadian government sold off all the post-offices, now they just have kiosks in any pharmacy, so just go to the drug store down the street.”
Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”
Tourist in Vancouver: Where is a neighborhood with lots of bars and cafes? Vancouverite: The street with all the bars and cafes is…. [then points and gives directions]
Tourist chick: Of course he doesn’t speak English…at least until you piss on his floor. –Chinatown
Woman Passenger: How do we get Bowery Street?
Passerby: Fuck you, you fucking clit, I love you!
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Tourist lady: Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s ground zero! –Construction site, 42nd & 6th
Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop… –6 Train
Tourist: People are so nice here. I just love this city. Do you like living here?
New Yorker: It’s the best place in the world.
Tourist: Oh, it’s great. And so diverse!
New Yorker: Yes, it is.
Tourist: So many black people!
New Yorker: Um…yes.
Tourist: Black people and Asians!
New Yorker: Mm-hmm. –F Train
New Yorker: Are you a farmer?
Tourist: Noooo. I went to Ranch Camp, but I’m not a farmer. –F Train
Boy, 7: Daddy, I wanna see the Empire State Building.
Father: Sorry, son. That’s way uptown and we’re headed downtown. –48th & Broadway Overheard by: Christopher Mignemi