Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

Where's a Wednesday One-Liner When You Need One?

Cop: Man, I'm computer illiterate… That's why the NYPD is perfect for me.

–Police Precinct, Bronx

Overheard by: afrocurl

Cop car to man in the street, after using sirens: How stupid are you? Move out of the way!
(crowd cheers)

–Thompson & Bleecker

Overheard by: onlycoolcop

Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrian: What are you doing!?

–Houston & Broadway

Woman with missing teeth, grabbing tourist and yelling: I'm not a cop! I'm a ho!

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism

Wednesday One-liners Hit the Premiere

Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable. –Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street

Wednesday One-Liners Would Like Fries With That

Very large man, pointing at a McDonald’s: Where were you last night at 3 a.m. when I was craving you? –49th & 9th Man wearing an “I Heart My Heart” shirt, to guy eating fast food: You’re just aching for that heart attack, aren’t you? –46th & Broadway Angry burger flipper: Making Big Macs is complex. It’s 2 all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun…And then it gets even more confusing, ’cause people all have their special requests, like no special sauce. And that just throws shit off. The Whopper is so easy. It don’t have shit on us. –M11 bus Asian girl, screaming into cell: I said, “Quiero Taco Bell!” –33rd & Broadway Overheard by: Kelsey Foreign tourist to cabbie: How much to go to K…F…C? –Broadway between 38th & 39th Overheard by: Gregorio

Janet Reno Day One-Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don't like you! Don't you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13th St