Woman Passenger: How do we get Bowery Street?
Passerby: Fuck you, you fucking clit, I love you!
–Bowery
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category
Mind the Gap, and the Map
Tourist chick #1: You have to go uptown in order to go downtown to Chinatown.
Tourist chick #2: And I thought this was a non-stop…
–6 Train
…And Some Jews, If I’m Not Mistaken
Tourist: People are so nice here. I just love this city. Do you like living here?
New Yorker: It’s the best place in the world.
Tourist: Oh, it’s great. And so diverse!
New Yorker: Yes, it is.
Tourist: So many black people!
New Yorker: Um…yes.
Tourist: Black people and Asians!
New Yorker: Mm-hmm.
–F Train
This One Time at Ranch Camp
New Yorker: Are you a farmer?
Tourist: Noooo. I went to Ranch Camp, but I’m not a farmer.
–F Train
“C” You Then!
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer. –R train Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
Great Barbeque.
Australian tourist to hobo on bench: Oh, shit, where am I?
Hobo on bench: Welcome to hell, lady.
Australian tourist to hobo: No, mate, I just flew in from there yesterday.
–Central Park
Thanks, Kind Stranger!
Hopelessly lost tourist: How do you get to Broadway?
Irritable local: Practice.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kelly
Is That Slang for a Beejer?
French tourist girlfriend, arguing with boyfriend: Do you think I'm not being serious?I can't take it anymore!
French tourist boyfriend, with constant little smile: Tu trouverais pas cela plus stylé d'aller au bord de l'eau? (“Don't you think it would be much nicer to go on the waterfront?”)
(girlfriend leaves)
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Tom
European Distances Are More Cultural Than Spatial, Anyway
American tourist: Where you're from?
European tourist: Berlin.
American tourist: Ah, Berlin–that's sooo lovely!
European tourist: You been there?
American tourist: Well, almost… We've been to, like… Barcelona?
–E 42nd St
The Church Has Always Been Ambivalent About the Natural World
Foreign tourist to security guard: Excuse me, where is Central Park?
St. Patrick's security guard: Central Park? Ooooh, that's like up at 110th Street. You're real far…
–St. Patrick's Cathedral