Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

Wanna Buy a Bridge, Wednesday One-Liners?

10-year-old tourist kid: Mom, is Brooklyn famous for its graffiti?

–Coney Island-bound D train

Overheard by: BB

White guy, pointing: Over there in Brooklyn three-year-olds just, like, walk around!

–Delancey & Essex

Overheard by: Red Hair

Guy walking through bar: What’s with Brooklyn and beards?

–Union Hall, Park Slope

Overheard by: jasonjason

Guy: Brooklyn is the middle borough in terms of goodness.

–Kosher Delight

Thugette to double decker tour bus: Brooklyn! Brooklyn! You’re taking a tour of Brooklyn! I just got out of jail!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Staying on the bus….

And Yet You Always Know Where the Nearest Bar Is

Stupid tourist girl: Where you heading?
Not-so-stupid tourist, pointing to Empire State Building: We're going there.
Stupid tourist girl: What's that?
Not-so-stupid tourist: Seriously? It's the Empire State Building.
Stupid tourist girl: How am I supposed to know? I've never been here before!

–E 14th St

Headline by: thirsy

Runners-Up:
· “Hey! There’s a Giant Drag Queen in the Harbor!” – Nick Pollotta
· “Now Tell Me About the Big Shiny Blue Thing in the East” – Nick Pollotta
· “That’s What You Said When We Went to the Bathroom” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Are All These Cars Yellow?” – pbump
· “Yet She Expects Me to Find the Clitoris” – joe
· “You Mean Earth, Right?” – aliensareamongus


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Swirl Was Always My Favorite Kind Of Soft-Serve Ice Cream

Black hobo to young tourist couple with baby: Mmmmmmmmmmm… That's a nice lookin' baby! You must've done good that night… or morning. (laughs)
Father: Uh… haha… yeah.
Black hobo: I need to find me a white lady so I can make me a Barack Obama. Mmm-hmm!

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Emily