Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

What’s That? You Have a Bomb?

Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads. –49th & 9th Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts

Wednesday One-Liners Go Looking for a Vein

Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor? –Grand & Union, Brooklyn Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed! –17th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Dave Little kid: Look, I'm on crack! –Apple Store, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else… –Walgreens, Union Square Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium? –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: left my opium stash at home 20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did! –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: GavinJoyce Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay." –33rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK

Wednesday One-liners, American Idols

Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street! –Magnolia Bakery Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband! –The Prime Grill, 49th Street Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog. –in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave