Archive for the ‘Trains Not Subway’ Category

Please Remain on the Line. Your Wednesday One-Liner Is Important to Us.

Usher: I will tell you once again: do not use your cell phone! I know how to wrestle!

–Theatre

Man: What kind of faggot has a 551 number?

–Cooper Union, Astor Place

Overheard by: a friend of mine does

Drunk Long Island girl: I don't know! I guess my phone was on lock or unlock or whatever, but my boobs must have called you!

–W 10th St

Overheard by: max

Blonde NYU ditz, looking at BlackBerry: Wait… what area code is 718? That's like really far away, right?

–Sullivan & Bleecker

Overheard by: i actually laughed at her

Conductor: This is the train to Ronkonkoma, also known as "ko, hip hip hey and away we go." When using cell phones, please, keep it quiet, 'cause no one really wants to know what you're talkin' about.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Goober

Wednesday Drunk-Liners

Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie!

–W 88th St

Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick!

–Metro-North Train

Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine!

–East Village

Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor

Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand!

–Poker Game, Astoria

Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY

Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit!

–L Train

Wednesday Conga Liners

Man on cell: Yeah, so do you know that show Dancing with the Stars? They got the idea for it from the camera in my shower.

–6th Ave & 55th St

Overheard by: Alicia

Aging badass to lady friend: Yeah, I totally got escorted out of a Tom Petty concert for dancing in the aisles.

–17th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Original Badass

Black guy: Hey everybody! Stop what you're doing! There's two black guys about to dance on this train! That's something you don't see often!

–A Train

Flamboyant gay man to friend: You can't sashay in there. There's no room to sashay at all.

–Outside LGBT Community Center, during Fur Ball

Overheard by: pandarants

Drunk Asian girl: It's always time to dance in North Korea.

–2nd St & Ave B

She’s Right on the Mark

Guy: Hey, you`ve been reading that book for a long time.
Girl: It’s a good book. It’s my dad’s. He already finished it. He’s reading mine.
Guy: What’s it called?
Girl: Children of Cain.
Guy: What’s Cain?
Girl: I don’t know. Dad?
Dad: I think it’s from the Bible.
Guy: Ah.
Mom: Cain was from the Bible, he was one of two brothers. And I believe he did something naughty. –Metro-North train