Archive for the ‘Trains Not Subway’ Category

He Also Astutely Made This Observation About Penn Station.

Four-year-old: Dad, look, it's part of the Empire State Building!
Dad: Oh yeah?
Four-year-old: Yes. Over there, see? (points to a building in downtown Brooklyn)
Dad: Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
(moments later)
Four-year-old
: Look! I can see the cranes!

Dad, pointing down at construction site: Yeah, and look at all that junk.
Four-year-old: What junk? Oh yeah. That's a junkyard!
Dad: It looks like one, doesn't it?
Four-year-old Yeah, it looks like one. And it is one.

–F Train

Overheard by: Tricia

Wednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk

Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?

–Starbucks, Sheridan Square

Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…

–Downtown 6 Train

Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!

–49th St, Astoria

Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!

–116th St

McWednesday One-Liners

MTA conductor: This train is going to run express. The next and last stop is McDonald's… I mean Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard.

–W Train

British teenager: They didn't even spell it right, it's "Mac Donald's," not "mc"!

–McDonald's, Bowery & Bayard

Student to class: I ate a McGriddle last week, and it was like eating a baby angel.

–Classroom, NYU

Frantic foreign lady: Is this the train that goes to McDonald's?

–F Subway

Overheard by: laura

Wednesday One-Liners Find Nemo

Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!

–Steps, The Met

Overheard by: gossipgirlish

Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?

–Central Park East

Overheard by: walter

Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.

–D Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.

–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave

Why Stephen Hawking Retired: Explained

Chulo #1: What sign are you?
Chula: Aries. You?
Chulo #2: Asshole. That's his sign: asshole.
Chulo #1: Naw, man. It's cancer.
Chulo #2: Why do so many people believe in that astrology shit?
Chulo #1: Because it's true!
Chula: It's so true. I've got all the personality traits. Like, I think I know everything. I get along real well with Leos, we're all bossy together. What sign are you?
Chulo #2: Scorpio.
(chula and chulo #1 laugh knowingly)
Chula
: Oh, yeah, you know what that means. You're a lover.

Chulo #2: Ha ha, yeah?
Chula: You see someone and like that, you're in love. And then, two weeks later, you don't want nothing to do with her.
Chulo #2: Um… No… I mean, not really…
Chulo #1: Yeah, man, it's all true. Written in the stars.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox