Passport agent in airport to everyone waiting to go into customs: Everyone with a US passport, up against that wall!
Man in line: Have things changed that much?
– JFK Airport
Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category
Some Urban Legends Are More Plausible Than Others
Woman #1: I heard this train fell into the river one time. Is that true?
Woman #2: I dunno. I don’t see how it could. Maybe it could fall off to the side or something, but straight down? How would it get off the tracks?
Woman #1: I heard it fell into the river like nine years ago. Somebody told me that when I was in Miami.
–J train, en route via Williamsburg Bridge
Visit Historic Gotham
New Yorker: There’s the Brooklyn Bridge over there. You can walk over it.
Tourist: Really?
New Yorker: Yep.
Tourist: And is this City Hall?
New Yorker: Yes. I don’t know this area very well…there’s Starbucks!
–City Hall Park
New York’s Distinctiveness
Woman waiting on line in Newark airport: “Isn’t it amazing how, whenever you go to a foreign country, you can get such a feel for the country just from the airport? Take New York: you land here, you look out the windows, and the first thing you realize about New York is, ‘aren’t the vehicles here so big!’”
“Then we had New Year’s in March.”
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists.
–25th St. & 3rd Ave.
Mother of Wednesday One-liners
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space. –83rd & Amsterdam A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth? –Q Train
“…and by ‘Fort Lauderdale’, I mean ‘Bayside’.”
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
Go Back to Connecticut!
WASP Lady: The train service was really nice. Not at all like the subway. –Midtown comics
Aloha to the Freak State
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country.
–Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
How We All Feel
The train coming from New Jersey arrives in New York. An Elderly Italian man turns to his friends and says: Aah, back to civilization! –Penn Station Overheard by: Kaitlen