WASP Lady: The train service was really nice. Not at all like the subway. –Midtown comics
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country. –Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
Woman waiting on line in Newark airport: “Isn’t it amazing how, whenever you go to a foreign country, you can get such a feel for the country just from the airport? Take New York: you land here, you look out the windows, and the first thing you realize about New York is, ‘aren’t the vehicles here so big!’”
The train coming from New Jersey arrives in New York. An Elderly Italian man turns to his friends and says: Aah, back to civilization! –Penn Station Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman: Hey, we should go to Alaska sometime.
Man: Alaska? We can’t even find our way downstairs! –Eskimo Diorama, American Museum of Natural History
Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain. –Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village
Hipster #1: I know that I should know this, but when did Castro die or get overthrown?
Hipster #2: Uh, he’s still in power.
Hipster #1: Oh, that explains why it’s still illegal for us to travel to Cuba.
Hipster #2: Yeah. –Motorcycle Diaries showing, Brooklyn Art Museum
Woman #1: I heard this train fell into the river one time. Is that true?
Woman #2: I dunno. I don’t see how it could. Maybe it could fall off to the side or something, but straight down? How would it get off the tracks?
Woman #1: I heard it fell into the river like nine years ago. Somebody told me that when I was in Miami. –J train, en route via Williamsburg Bridge
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists. –25th St. & 3rd Ave.
Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space. –83rd & Amsterdam A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth? –Q Train