Lady: I was down in Tijuana getting some dental work done, and I fell asleep in the chair. Best sleep I ever had! They should sedate me more often. Girl (under her breath): I couldn’t agree more. –audience waiting room for the Tony Danza Show Overheard by: Renee B.
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country. –Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
Woman #1: Did you hear? We’re going into Iran.
Woman #2: Really? Why?
Woman #1: Dunno.
Woman #2: Wasn’t there, like, an earthquake there?
Woman #1: When? Recently?
Woman #2: Hmm.
Woman #1: Well, so much for our Princeton educations. –Madame X, Houston St. Overheard by: Djlindee
Security Guard: …and so now I have her DNA and I can, like, reproduce her any time I want. –57th & West End Overheard by: Kaitlyn Drunk: Are you going to San Francisco?…Hey, I’ve been there! Why won’t you believe me? Look at this tattoo I got there!…Shut up, bitch! –LIRR Overheard by: marissa Woman: So did you know that cheese has the same chemicals as heroin in it? That’s why people who eat cheese get so addicted to it. –1st Avenue & 4th Street Overheard by: alison
Woman: Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I have to touch him!
–W 32nd & 5th
Street preacher pointing at ladies in short skirts: We’ve gotta get them married! We can’t be havin’ them fornicating in the streets!
–59th & 5th
Lady on cell: I mean, there were some funny pictures… Whitney freaking on me just isn’t what I had in mind… I just don’t really want pictures of beer pong in my wedding album, y’know?
20-ish girl on cell: Grandma, it is so important that you are at my wedding. I need to have you there… Dad and I were talking, and we’re going to get you a refundable ticket… Just in case anything happens.
Overheard by: Kaiti
Man to friend: No, it’s over. We had the wedding planned and everything and then she never got a divorce.
–NJ Transit to Penn Station
Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
Overheard by: Phil
Woman: …I am just trying to figure out why you thought it was okay for you to pack for a weekend at my parents’ home, in a backpack.
Man: What’s wrong with my backpack? You know I don’t own an overnight bag.
Woman: How can your only alternative be a fucking backpack? You can’t understand how that would be embarrassing for me? Jesus, Adrian, you’re 37 years old and you’re still traveling with a backpack? –70th & 3rd Overheard by: K. Bumsted
Teen geek #1: I need a passport.
Teen geek #2: What for? You don't go to other countries.
Teen geek #1: I went to Canada!
Teen geek #2: Canada?! Canada doesn't count!
Teen geek #1: Canada totally counts! If you go to the French part, they speak French and stuff.
Overheard by: jayloo who burst out laughing
Girl #1: For our next trip, my parents want to go on a cruise to Alaska.
Girl #2: Oh my god, no! Haven’t you seen the Titanic?
Girl #1: I know, right? Plus, it’s cold. I mean look at March of the Penguins. They die there. –F train Queer: So some stranger just approached me and asked me to fuck her and her husband on Staten Island…Wait, it was Ellis Island. Yeah, she wanted me to fuck with the Statue of Liberty.
Hag: Oh, that’s too bad. Staten Island is nice. –Union Square Overheard by: Tina L.
Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian? –N train