Mom: I don’t know. I think you have to be, like, 21 to go to outer space. –83rd & Amsterdam A six-year-old stops coughing and asks: Mommy, why did you cover my mouth? –Q Train
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you. The train pulls away. Old lady: Fuckhead. –23rd Street F station
American tourist: Where you're from?
European tourist: Berlin.
American tourist: Ah, Berlin–that's sooo lovely!
European tourist: You been there?
American tourist: Well, almost… We've been to, like… Barcelona?
–E 42nd St
Aging woman with poor Botox: I've been all over the world. All over. Every continent, practically.
Friend: Where have you been?
Aging woman with poor Botox: I haven't been to Africa… Asia… I haven't gone to India or Russia… The Middle East… Uh… I've been to Europe a lot.
Friend: Where in Europe?
Aging woman with poor Botox: The Bahamas.
–Bleu, 187th & Fort Washington
Overheard by: RyanK
Man needing help: I need to get my passport renewed before I leave for a trip out of the country next week.
Lady at post office: We can expedite it, and you can have your new passport in two weeks.
Man needing help: But I'll be back from my trip to Mexico in less than two weeks.
Lady at post office: Well, we can expedite it and you'll get your passport back in two weeks.
–Post Office, Grand Central
Overheard by: Adam Lazarus
Father: Okay, girls, get your hairspray and turquoise eyeliner.
Father: We're going to Staten Island!
–Hudson & Christopher
Overheard by: Seonachan
Hipster guy: Have you ever been to the Hamptons?
Hipster girl: Yeah, I've been to the Hamptons. I was just there, actually.
Hipster guy, extremely lasciviously: Oh, I know you were!
Hipster girl, confused: Yeah. Did you, like, see me there?
Hipster guy, still lascivious: Oh, no. I've never been to the Hamptons.
Overheard by: judydarkness
College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out!
Overheard by: Noemi
Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive.
20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: M
Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway.
–Lower East Side
Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.
Overheard by: annearchist
Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?
Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?
Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.
Overheard by: Samantha
Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.
Overheard by: Nicole