Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months! –E 9th St & University Place Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012 Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl. –F Train Overheard by: office peon Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby! –Gee Whiz, Tribeca Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage! –Uptown 2 Train Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments. –96th & Broadway
Twin sister #1, indignantly: I tried to get him the least sexual plant I could find. I mean, a cactus, how much less sexual could you get?
Twin sister #2, thoughtfully: You really can't get any less sexual than a cactus. –Uptown 1 Train Overheard by: Zora
Girl: What happens to the leaves if you just leave them on the ground? They just die, right? –Central Park Overheard by: Vera Farrelly
Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don't believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It's just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something. –Regal Cinema, Union Square Overheard by: Noeman Samdani
White guy #1: Whoa, so you're gonna fight me?
White guy #2: I think I'm gonna fight you… And maybe that tree. –Steinway St & Broadway Overheard by: One scary looking tree
Girl #1: Man, I am so excited to just move.
Boy: When you move in with me, can we get a Chia pet?
Girl #2: Oh, girl, watch out. You get a Chia pet and it's a slippery slope. Next thing you know, you and Cliff will be wearing cat sweatshirts and writing fan fiction.
Boy: That's gonna happen in secret.
Girl #1: Whatever, bitch, we're gonna grow herbs. –The Met
Florist #1 (hanging up the phone) We just got a funeral.
Florist #2: Man or woman?
Florist #1: Man.
Florist #2: Goddammit! We have all these pink roses and nothing we can use them for!
Florist #1: We could always use them and hope that he was a flamer. –Flower Shop, Greenwich Village
Guy #1: So how was your weekend? Did you go on the trip?
Guy #2: It was insane man, a real pagan festival.
Guy #1: Really?
Guy #2: Yeah, naked girls worshiping a giant tree. Totally crazy.
Guy #1: Did you make a love connection?
Guy #2: I actually made a few love connections, if you know what I mean… –Men's Room, Hiro Ballroom Overheard by: Yeah, we know what you mean…
Crazy lady, pointing at Christmas tree: Is the tree real?
Doorman: Yes, ma'am.
Crazy lady: Can I go smell the tree?
Doorman: Yes, ma'am.
Crazy lady, going over to tree: Can ah smell yo, tree? (giggles) –Upper West Side Overheard by: Neck Twister
Male hipster: I was all excited for Central Park, you know, and then I remembered: I've seen trees before. –Central Park Tourist, looking at souvenir photos of Central Park: You never realize how… central it is. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Xanthias Tourist, looking down at map: Wait a second, guys, I can't find Central Park. –Penn Station Overdressed, overly made-up girl: The thing I don't like about Central Park is that it's too much like a forest. –Central Park