Lady: Let me get a half pound of ham, sliced thin,
Deli guy: Is this thin enough?
Lady: Yeah, so long as I can watch TV through it.
–Bensonhurst
Archive for the ‘TV’ Category
…and all my personal calls are annoying
Who: Puerto Rican teenage girl
Where: East Village
What: “I can set whatever rings I want on this phone for whoever calls me. So all my business calls are Scooby-doo.”
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Spinach and the Insane
Nut: The original voice of Popeye was Allen Swift.
Patron: Allen Swift, huh?
Nut: You don’t believe me.
Patron: No, I’m just, um, impressed that you know so much about Popeye.
–Museum of Television and Radio
Stewie Has His Moments
Chick: Who’s he talking about?
Guy: Family Guy.
Chick: Oh, I hate that guy.
–Bensonhurst
Maybe He’s a Widower?
A guy is being filmed for Fox 5 News Live. Guy: I wanna say hi to my mother-in-law and my girlfriend in the Bronx. –Midtown Overheard by: Danger
New York’s Only Republican
Woman: Did you just watch the Presidential debate?
Man: Yes, we did.
Woman: Are you Kerry supporters?
Man: No, of course not. Kerry is the worst presidential candidate in the last 50 years and he would be the worst president ever.
Woman: Oh, do you want to come to Good Morning America tomorrow and stand outside, waving Kerry signs?
Man: I was being entirely serious. I hate Kerry.
The woman looks at him, unbelieving, and walks away in silence.
–Outside the San Marcos bar, East Village
Those Wacky Republicans
Chick: He’s like an ultraconservative and he was watching Bush’s speech and yelling and saying “You guys don’t know what’s going on!”. It was crazy. –Washington Square Park
Super-size Me, Mr. Bond
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Mother: Huh?
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh.
–Central Park
Punchlines without Straightlines
Very Straight Guy: Hey, it’s not like I’m giving Ellen DeGeneres a claddagh ring! –Jeremy’s Ale House Overheard by: Megan Buckley
