Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

Wednesday-One-Liners Are Still Waiting on Reparations

Woman: It’s so rare to see a happy, black couple these days.

–Nunya

Overheard by: Jason

Guy on cell: I want to do, like, a modern blaxploitation kinda thing.

–111th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Conrad

JAP on cell: Yeah, Flava Flav. The show’s called Flava of Love, it’s like The Bachelor for black people.

–J&B Coffee, W 3rd St & McDougal

Overheard by: amused black girl

Ghetto girl: I swear, I feel like motherfuckin’ Harriet Tubman. Shoot.

–Tunnel between F & 1 trains, 14th St

Guy: Hey, you guys like stand-up comedy? Take this flyer. What, you ain’t gonna take it? Is it ’cause I’m black?

–Times Square

Bimbette: I’m not racist, I talked to a black girl in the bathroom today.

–A train

Wednesday One-Liners Worry That Trucker Hats May Be Out

Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.

–E Train

Overheard by: dru

Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.

–N 6th St, Williamsburg

Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!

–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint

Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…

–Central Park

Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!

–Union Hall

Overheard by: Cass

Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?

–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg

200 Wednesday One-Liners, and There's Nothing to Watch.

Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.

–Lehman College

Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!

–Outside of Guggenheim

Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Melissa

Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.

–J Train

Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Parenting in New York; A Short Story

Dude: Her kids listen to nothin’ but classical music. Every time they turn on the radio: classical music, and they smart as hell. I said, “Don’t they watch no cartoons?!”. I turn on Cartoon Network, they got a woman wearing a bikini, turns into a superhero at night! That and Spongebob. And look at Beyonce! Everytime you see her, you see her skin! –1 train Overheard by: Josie

New York’s Only Republican

Woman: Did you just watch the Presidential debate?
Man: Yes, we did.
Woman: Are you Kerry supporters?
Man: No, of course not. Kerry is the worst presidential candidate in the last 50 years and he would be the worst president ever.
Woman: Oh, do you want to come to Good Morning America tomorrow and stand outside, waving Kerry signs?
Man: I was being entirely serious. I hate Kerry. The woman looks at him, unbelieving, and walks away in silence. –Outside the San Marcos bar, East Village