Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

It's the Great Wednesday One-Liner, Charlie Brown

Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.

–A Train

Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?

–Halloween Adventure

Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!

–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: kathcom

Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!

–Downtown 6 Train

Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.

–Downtown 6 train

Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: J. Ra

Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.

–Soho

Overheard by: Edan

But Screech Makes a Sex Tape? Doesn't Seem Fair.

Tourist lady #1: Oh, look. Mario Lopez is in Chorus Line.
Tourist lady #2: I don't know who that is.
Tourist lady #3, lasciviously: Oooh, Mario Lopez.
Tourist lady #1, to lady #2: You've never heard of Mario Lopez?
Tourist lady #2: No.
Tourist lady #1: You've never seen him on TV?
Tourist lady #2: No. What's he been in?
Tourist lady #1: He has an eight pack instead of a six pack! Tee-hee!

–51st St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jessi Spano

As Is Required by US Law

Mother: I'm so glad you want to learn about voting!
Five-year-old girl, to employee: Where are your books about Joe Biden?
(ten minutes later)
Five-year-old girl, screaming at the magazine rack
: I want the magazine with the lady from TV on it!

Mother: Use your indoor voice. You know what her name is.
Five-year-old girl: But…I love Oprah.

–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington