Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

It Depends on How You Define “Valuable”

Seven or eight-year-old boy: Daddy, who owns ESPN?
Dad: Disney.
Boy: The man or the place?
Dad: Well, actually, the corporation. They own lots of things. Like, they own the Disney Channel, and the History Channel, and Lifetime, and then they own Disneyworld, and the Disney movie studio, and…
Mom, with little sister in her lap: Oh, for crying out loud, enough.
Dad: . . .which makes The Little Mermaid and The Lion King, and The Lion King on Broadway, and they own ABC, too. And a bunch of publishing stuff.
Boy [after a beat]: What about ESPN2?
Dad: That, too.
Boy: All the ESPNs? All four?
Father: Yeah, now there’s some valuable intellectual property, huh? –Fascati Pizza, Henry St., Brooklyn Heights

Wednesday-One-Liners Are Still Waiting on Reparations

Woman: It’s so rare to see a happy, black couple these days.


Overheard by: Jason

Guy on cell: I want to do, like, a modern blaxploitation kinda thing.

–111th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Conrad

JAP on cell: Yeah, Flava Flav. The show’s called Flava of Love, it’s like The Bachelor for black people.

–J&B Coffee, W 3rd St & McDougal

Overheard by: amused black girl

Ghetto girl: I swear, I feel like motherfuckin’ Harriet Tubman. Shoot.

–Tunnel between F & 1 trains, 14th St

Guy: Hey, you guys like stand-up comedy? Take this flyer. What, you ain’t gonna take it? Is it ’cause I’m black?

–Times Square

Bimbette: I’m not racist, I talked to a black girl in the bathroom today.

–A train