Archive for the ‘Tweens’ Category

Wednesday: Soft As a Baby's One-Liner

Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months! –E 9th St & University Place Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012 Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl. –F Train Overheard by: office peon Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby! –Gee Whiz, Tribeca Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage! –Uptown 2 Train Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments. –96th & Broadway

Wednesday’s Gonna Have a Little One-Liner

Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy! –Grand Central Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant! –TGI Fridays Overheard by: Sara Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts! –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Hannah Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex. –Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th Overheard by: jmike Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time! –96th St station Overheard by: Kind of Confused 20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct. –Columbia University Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

…But He's My Son.

20-year-old female host: Can I help you with something?
12-year-old boy, staring at her: I just want to admire your body.
20-year-old female host: Excuse me?
12-year-old boy: You have a great body.
20-year-old female host: Ummmm, thanks…
12-year-old boy's friend: If I were you I'd leave, he's creepy.
20-year-old female host: I wish I could. –Restaurant, Times Square

Country Mouse, Wednesday One-Liner Mouse

Very happy male suit wearing slippers, shuffling down to the subway: If you can wear slippers in New York, you can wear slippers anywhere. –2 Train Overheard by: Lara Suit on cell: I'm so glad to be in New York, where everyone is so mellow and everyone talks American. –DiFara Pizzeria Guy to date: That's what I love about New York–people wear different outfits. –Outside Deluxe, 113th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Dad to preteen daughter: See, I really don't have issues with citizens not from New York city. –Forest Hills Overheard by: depends on citizens Woman on cell: I'm in New York, where Sesame Street lives. –52nd & 7th Overheard by: AEVRed Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart. –Duane Reade, 34th & 8th