Two tween girls walk into Starbucks. For some reason one emits a high pitched squeal. Tween #2: Shut up! This is a place where humans go! –Starbucks, Astor Place Overheard by: Scott Nybakken
Preteen Boy #1: Get her, fuck her, leave her.
Preteen Boy #2: Is that what you do?
Preteen Boy #1: Hell yeah. Teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Teabagging?
Preteen Boy #1: Yeah. Get in and get out. That’s teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Ha, ha! Teabagging!
Preteen Boy #1: Hey, how do you spell Utah?
Preteen Boy #2: U… U…
Preteen Boy #1: Tell me how to spell Utah, motherfucker! –Smith/9th St. Station Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Bored tween: Hey! We should wake up early tomorrow and kill some squirrels with my slingshot!
Bored tween sister: You're not gonna kill those innocent squirrels unless they try to kill you first!
–Highland Park, New York
12-year-old girl holding plaid button-down shirt: Wow, I can't wait to be a hipster!
Dyke in similar plaid shirt: When did “dyke” become “hipster”?
Overheard by: Starisla
Mother to tween daughter, smiling: So I heard you saw a porn film with Tina* and her mother?
Daughter: Yeah, we went into Bruno and decided to leave after five minuets.
Mother: What did you end up doing?
Daughter: We saw Ice Age instead.
Overheard by: Carrie
Tween boy with scooter to friend with skateboard: If I died, would you take my scooter?
Boy: If I died, right now, would you take my scooter, man?
Tween to mom: But mooooooommmmmmm, I don't want to go to that school.
Mom to tween: Chris Rock's kids go there.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Cathy Borck
Annoying tween: Oh my god, my dad made me use this, like, Salon brand shampoo. Oh my god, look at this volume! There's nothing! (two friends nod) And, guess what? It also smells like llama spit! (two friends look confused) You want to know how I know what llama spit smells like? My dad once got spat on in the face by a llama!
Overheard by: Lily
Loud tween girl: Did you know that I drank wine when I was a baby?
Loud tween girl: Yeah! I drank wine when I was a baby. Did you know that if your mom drinks wine when she's pregnant, then you drink it too? My dad told me. He's a doctor.
Friend: Well, I drank beer once.
Loud tween girl: I tasted champagne on New Year's. But yeah, I drank wine when I was a baby. I probably got drunk!
Overheard by: I'd like a glass of wine right now
Whiny tween: Daddy, I just got hit in the eye.
Yuppie dad: Oh! You did? Who hit you in the eye?
Tween and mom: Mommy did.
Overheard by: Andrea