Archive for the ‘Tweens’ Category

Raise Your Hand If You Wish You Were Drunk

Loud tween girl: Did you know that I drank wine when I was a baby?
Friend: Huh?
Loud tween girl: Yeah! I drank wine when I was a baby. Did you know that if your mom drinks wine when she's pregnant, then you drink it too? My dad told me. He's a doctor.
Friend: Well, I drank beer once.
Loud tween girl: I tasted champagne on New Year's. But yeah, I drank wine when I was a baby. I probably got drunk!

–M23 Bus

Overheard by: I'd like a glass of wine right now

Presenting the Fall Wednesday One-Liner Collection

Fashion photographer: That's a skirt? I thought it was a hat.

–Fashion Closet, Conde Nast Building

Indecisive woman to friend: I like this sweater in principle.

–Banana Republic, 86th & Broadway

Tween girl to mom: I'm not going to put my precious glove in the frickin' oven!

–Queens

Guy: I'm just saying, he doesn't dress like a bro.

–Astor Place

Irate girl wearing too much lipstick: That band really doesn't do him justice… I mean, I don't think he should have to wear a unitard. And she really shouldn't wear one, you know?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Wants to see him in unitard