Archive for the ‘Union Square and East Village’ Category

I Don't Like Where This Is Going

Older bag lady: How do you think mayor Bloomberg got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know. How?
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut?
Woman with baby stroller: Maybe.
Older bag lady: How do you think Oprah Winfrey got so rich?
Woman with baby in stroller: I don't know.
Older bag lady: You think by being a slut? –Union Square Overheard by: floridasunshine

Wednesday Off-the-Rack-Liners

20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts. –9th Ave & 45th St Overheard by: Serena Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon. –Hunter College High School Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin? –Citi Bar Overheard by: Lulu 20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together. –Locker Room, Crunch Gym Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'" –5th Ave & 14th St Overheard by: Sue

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war. –Therapy Store Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars. –31St & Ditmars, Astoria Overheard by: Randi and Patrick (at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton! –Midtown Overheard by: Oh the irony 50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Ksenia Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war! –7 Train

Fucking FCC!

Scrawny teen boy: Hey, Alice, can I–
Posh teen girl, eating Kit-Kat: –No.
Scrawny teen boy: But what if–
Posh teen girl: –No.
Scrawny teen boy: Come on! It’s just like in the commercial! [Sings] Give me a break! Give me a break! Break me off a piece of that–
Posh teen girl: –Well, you’re not fucking getting a piece of my fucking Kit-Kat bar!
Scrawny teen boy, after pause: But you see, that part isn’t in the commercial… –Construction site, E Houston