Middle-aged woman to others: Just because she's got her own apartment, she thinks she has it all together. –Near NYU Overheard by: Eric 20-something guy to another, about his apartment: All I want to do in my apartment is die. –Fort Greene, Brooklyn Overheard by: Dodd Loomis Woman on cell, walking briskly: There was blood all over the apartment… –E 9th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave Cashier to male shopper: Dude, your apartment is rent-stabilized and you have food stamps? You are so rich! –Whole Foods, Houston & Bowery 20-something trendy Jonas Brother-looking dude on cell: No, I sleep on the couch that's in the kitchen. (short pause) I'll tell you about my apartment later. –9th Ave b/w 14th & 15th Overheard by: Dash
Asian guy: But seriously, when she’s not crazy, she’s one of the funnest people to hang out with, and she didn’t let me finish last time, so I have a score to settle.
Redhead chick: You are sick. Settle it on someone else’s stomach. –Union Square Overheard by: jinhoshow
Frat boys in truck: Wooo! Where the ladies at?!
Queer couple, walking arm-in-arm: Right heeere! –East Village Overheard by: afro*T*siac
Girl: I think there’s a pretty good seafood restaurant around here. What kind of fish do you like?
Boyfriend: I really like goldfish. –E14th & 3rd Overheard by: one order of koi, please
NYU boy #1: Jeff Goldblum enslaved my parents.
NYU boy #2: Jeff Goldblum lay siege to my castle.
NYU girl #2: Jeff Goldblum killed my velociraptor. –3rd Ave & 11th St Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters? –Penn Station Overheard by: Erin and Willa Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!" –Rivington & Essex Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes. –2 Train Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore! –5th Ave & 86th Overheard by: GerMan in NY Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey! –New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay. –1st & St. Mark's
Drunk #1: I’m so fucking wasted!
Drunk #2 (to laughing group passing by): What the fuck are you laughing at? You repressed, reactionary douchebags!
Drunk #1: You repressed fucks!
Drunk #2: Go to Busch Gardens! –7th & Ave A
Girl to friend: I can’t decide which brand of shampoo and conditioner I want this time.
Random shopper, pointing to bottle: Get this kind. It made my pubes soft and wispy. –CVS Pharmacy, Union Square Overheard by: hoken chong
Girl: … So if it’s green we’ll know.
Guy: I once shit green.
Girl: Me, too. –E 7th St
Yuppie #1: It's like giving head to a gummie bear. You know what I mean?
Yuppie #2: I know, I know… –4th St & 6th Ave