Middle-aged woman: I want Gloria Steinem’s eyeballs in my fucking martini! –East Village
Woman: I ain’t havin’ no more babies out of wedlock. I mean I only got this one here but that’s it. He better put a ring on my finger if he want another one. –Ave B and 6th St.
Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10. –St. Mark’s Place
Girl: You have got to go inside and tell my boyfriend not to get the nose ring. A real one’s OK, but a fake is just stupid. –St. Mark’s Place
Girl: So did I kiss him goodnight? –St. Mark’s Place
Guy #1: So you do live around here.
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: So how do you know about Burritoville?
Guy #2: I’ve been around.
Guy #1: Oh, are you a cop? –Taco Bell, East Village
Woman: Did you just watch the Presidential debate?
Man: Yes, we did.
Woman: Are you Kerry supporters?
Man: No, of course not. Kerry is the worst presidential candidate in the last 50 years and he would be the worst president ever.
Woman: Oh, do you want to come to Good Morning America tomorrow and stand outside, waving Kerry signs?
Man: I was being entirely serious. I hate Kerry. The woman looks at him, unbelieving, and walks away in silence. –Outside the San Marcos bar, East Village
Woman on cell: Well what did you expect? Did you think you could just go into the subway and get a million bucks playing your guitar? –Union Square Overheard by: Domi
Man: …and three plain cheeseburgers.
Cashier: Plain? Does that mean you want those with cheese, or not? –McDonald’s, St. Mark’s Place
Guy #1: It’s a lunch date.
Guy #2: It’s lunch, but it’s not a date. Man, she’s a midget! –Union Square