Archive for the ‘Union Square and East Village’ Category

Fully Automatic Water-Cooled Assault Wednesday One-Liners

Four-year-old boy: I have gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun!

–Gate, Newark Airport

Overheard by: minkey

Man on phone: Yo! The last time I saw that nigga I shot at that nigga!

–43rd & 7th

Overheard by: Alex

Guy with facial piercings: My mom’s such a bitch. She’s like, ‘I don’t want any guns or drugs in the house!’ and I was like, ‘Fuck you, Mom!’

–Penn Station

Woman on cell: Kings County is the best hospital to go to if you get shot in New York.

–14th & Union Square

Overheard by: Mole

Thug kid to thug friends: I don’t do shootings. And besides, this is my stop.

–7 train, Queens

Overheard by: Mrs. LeClair

Wednesday One-Liners, the Forbidden Dance

Tween girl: I mean, she changed her MySpace name to "freaky dancer," I mean, she needs to take that shit off. Seriously, take it off, because I'm the freaky dancer, no one else is the freaky dancer but me.

–Uptown 6 Train

Man: There will be no more dancing tonight. I broke the pole.

–Times Square

Jumpy drunk guy: I have two options. Dance or fall asleep!

–Blackbird Parlour, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ak

Guy: I'm really into Nijinsky…no homo.

–F Train

Weary looking woman on cell: Six and a half hours of burlesque. I didn't think there was such a thing as too much burlesque…but I thought wrong.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: McNasty

College girl: And then I would say: "But do you object? Do you object to my vagina dance?"

–Union Square