Into an unplugged phone, a hobo yells: Honey, honey, I told you not to call me in the office! –LES
Hipster chick: Ugh, dolls. Dolls are so creepy. I’m never letting my kid have a doll. Drugs, yes. Dolls, no. –UES
Woman: He’s so horny he’d fuck a venetian blind. –Starbucks, UES
Dude #1: I’m gonna stand up as I turn. I’d like you to kick me in the nuts. The idea is to black out, end up in the hospital, and push this off on someone else. Ready?
Dude #2: I was born ready. –59th & Park
Girl: The party is out in Brooklyn? Are you kidding me? I swear you need a passport to get out there. –UES
Hobo: I never should have left Kansas City. –85th between 2nd & 3rd
Woman #1: I’m ready for ugly, if it keeps me warm in bed.
Woman #2: I don’t know about that. –UES Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Chick: You know how you wanted to call him up and say it’s not personal, you just want to be friends? Don’t. They need to be told. They don’t know that they’re idiots. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
A boss approaches his employee, holding up two pieces of lead for a retractable pencil. Boss: I don’t ask you to do much, but can you tell me which one of these is bigger? –UES Overheard by: Mindi Laine
Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.
Bored girl: Whatever.
Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…
Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.
Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?
Bored girl: Dude, have you read James Joyce's letters to his wife? Those are disgusting!
Peppy Latina: Disgusting like sappy? Cute? Awful?
Bored girl: No, disgusting like “I can't wait until I'm back in Ireland smelling your v-j-j” disgusting.
–82nd & 5th