Archive for the ‘Upper East Side’ Category

Pencil Envy

A boss approaches his employee, holding up two pieces of lead for a retractable pencil. Boss: I don’t ask you to do much, but can you tell me which one of these is bigger? –UES Overheard by: Mindi Laine

“…Now Write Something Nice About My Balls”

Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.
Bored girl: Whatever.
Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…
Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.
Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?
Bored girl: Dude, have you read James Joyce's letters to his wife? Those are disgusting!
Peppy Latina: Disgusting like sappy? Cute? Awful?
Bored girl: No, disgusting like “I can't wait until I'm back in Ireland smelling your v-j-j” disgusting.

–82nd & 5th