Woman: He’s so horny he’d fuck a venetian blind. –Starbucks, UES
Dude #1: I’m gonna stand up as I turn. I’d like you to kick me in the nuts. The idea is to black out, end up in the hospital, and push this off on someone else. Ready?
Dude #2: I was born ready. –59th & Park
Girl: The party is out in Brooklyn? Are you kidding me? I swear you need a passport to get out there. –UES
Hobo: I never should have left Kansas City. –85th between 2nd & 3rd
Woman #1: I’m ready for ugly, if it keeps me warm in bed.
Woman #2: I don’t know about that. –UES Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Chick: You know how you wanted to call him up and say it’s not personal, you just want to be friends? Don’t. They need to be told. They don’t know that they’re idiots. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.
Bored girl: Whatever.
Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…
Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.
Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?
Bored girl: Dude, have you read James Joyce's letters to his wife? Those are disgusting!
Peppy Latina: Disgusting like sappy? Cute? Awful?
Bored girl: No, disgusting like “I can't wait until I'm back in Ireland smelling your v-j-j” disgusting.
–82nd & 5th
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that's how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can't compete with his dick!
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he's the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Preppy guy: She's half Mexican. Her father is from Spain.
Preppy girl: Wouldn't that make her half Spanish, not Mexican?
Preppy guy: What is the difference?
–83rd St & 2nd Ave
Girl #1: I can't believe I'm looking at apartments on Lexington Avenue… It's not like I'm going to be, like, an equity analyst at UBS.
Girl #2: Or, like, Bain.
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: I don't even know what those words mean.
Girl #1: What, “equity analyst”?
Girl #2: Well, “equity.”
Girl #1: Equity is just money.
Girl #2: Oh, well, I know what that is.
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Chris