Archive for the ‘Upper East Side’ Category

“It’s a date!”

Chick: You have no idea how much less anxiety I have now that I know I don’t have to worry about leaving the country…not that they are kicking me out, but you know that I can leave and come back and it’s not an issue…This just makes me so excited! When I get excited I start to twitch, I apologize, but it’s a good thing! You get me excited! Not in that way, I mean, you’re my professor, and female, but not to say you aren’t good looking…
Professor: Um, okay, so let’s pretend I was deaf for that last 30 seconds and I’ll see you on Friday. –Hunter North Building, East 69th Street Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie Girl: I guess I’ll be taking my vibrator out for Valentine’s. –Prince & Broadway Overheard by: Toby Boudreaux

Wednesday One-Liners Did Chop Down That Cherry Tree

Well dressed party-goer: No, like, I went to Princeton -we lied all the time.


Overheard by: Cuny Graduate

Dude on cell: Okay… Great. Yeah. But I gotta go. My mom’s calling. [Hangs up, shoves phone in pocket.]

–Wagner College, Staten Island

Overheard by: Squiggs

Woman on cell: I just don’t understand why he got so freaked out about it. I said "I love you" -big fucking deal. That doesn’t mean anything. I could have been lying. I was lying, for Christ’s sake.

–L Train

Crazy hobo: Hillary Clinton is a liar, she lies. We’ve been married for 28 years and she won’t admit to it. Liar. Afraid of integration, that’s Hillary.

–E Train

Overheard by: Liz Beaux

Suit on cell to his wife: Yeah… Yeah… Oh, honey, I have to go, this is it, the train’s here. Bye! [Clicks over to the other line.] Hey buddy! How’s it going!

–125th St. Subway platform

Overheard by: EthanK

Twentysomething player on cell, picking fresh hairs off him : I feel you, I feel you, I can’t meet up with you now, I have to go to Forest Hills to get my haircut.

–N Train

Overheard by: john

Guy on cell: Most people lie to get out of jury duty and here I am being honest about NAMBLA.

–73rd & 2nd

Overheard by: melissa