Chick: You know how you wanted to call him up and say it’s not personal, you just want to be friends? Don’t. They need to be told. They don’t know that they’re idiots. –Our Place, 3rd Avenue
Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.
Bored girl: Whatever.
Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…
Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.
Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?
Bored girl: Dude, have you read James Joyce's letters to his wife? Those are disgusting!
Peppy Latina: Disgusting like sappy? Cute? Awful?
Bored girl: No, disgusting like “I can't wait until I'm back in Ireland smelling your v-j-j” disgusting.
–82nd & 5th
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that's how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can't compete with his dick!
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he's the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Preppy guy: She's half Mexican. Her father is from Spain.
Preppy girl: Wouldn't that make her half Spanish, not Mexican?
Preppy guy: What is the difference?
–83rd St & 2nd Ave
Girl #1: I can't believe I'm looking at apartments on Lexington Avenue… It's not like I'm going to be, like, an equity analyst at UBS.
Girl #2: Or, like, Bain.
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: I don't even know what those words mean.
Girl #1: What, “equity analyst”?
Girl #2: Well, “equity.”
Girl #1: Equity is just money.
Girl #2: Oh, well, I know what that is.
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Chris
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!
–Steps, The Met
Overheard by: gossipgirlish
Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?
–Central Park East
Overheard by: walter
Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.
–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave
Bartender to 20-something man: What's your name? I'll start a tab.
20-something man: Oliver.
Old man at bar: Oliver Twist… People ever call you Oliver Twist? (laughs)
20-something man: Old people always do. Newer people don't.
–Pizzaria, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: kat
Angry-looking woman #1: Yo, I think that cricket said somethin'
Angry-looking woman #2: Hold on, I think that bitch is sayin' some shit!
Angry-looking woman #1, looking for cricket: You wanna start somethin? Nobody be talking shit about me.
Angry-looking woman #2: Let's fuck this bitch up.
Crazy guy running up to random student: I go to this guy for those peanuts they sell on the side of the street, I say “how much?” He tells me $1.50, so I start walking away, and he says one dollar. I went to state pen for ten years, and this is how I get treated?
Student: It's just peanuts man, you gotta let it go.
–59th St & Lexington
Girl, giving food to hobo: Hey, do you want this?
Hobo: Yeah, thanks! Wait, does it have shellfish in it?
–16th St & 3rd Ave