Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber.
–Madison Ave & 43rd
Archive for the ‘U.S. Geography’ Category
Here’s a Hint: Look for the Steps
Woman: Hey, we should go to Alaska sometime.
Man: Alaska? We can’t even find our way downstairs!
–Eskimo Diorama, American Museum of Natural History
That’s Not Saying Much
Hipster: Jesus! This place is worse than Austin seven years ago! –Bedford St. Station, Williamsburg Overheard by: K.
I Blame Woodrow Wilson
Yuppie: I just really hate the Garden State mentality. –West Village
Georgia Out of My Mind
Woman: Where is Georgia anyway?
Her brother: It’s a state.
Woman: I know, but where is it?
Her brother: Down south somewhere.
–Newark Airport
Overheard by: Coffee
Why? Your Rent’s the Same…
Hobo: I never should have left Kansas City. –85th between 2nd & 3rd
Where Do You Stand on Honky Tonk Bars?
Female lawyer #1: So we stopped and ate at Cracker Barrel.
Female lawyer #2: Oh, my husband loves Cracker Barrel!
Male lawyer #1: How come it's okay to have a restaurant named Cracker Barrel, but when there was a restaurant chain called Sambo's, they were forced to change their name?
Male lawyer #2: And what about the Washington Redskins?
Male lawyer #1: Yeah, imagine if they had a team named The Darkies?
Male lawyer #2: So how come nobody forces the Redskins to change their name?
Male lawyer #1: Cause, when's the last time you saw a mob of Indians kick someone's ass?
Male lawyer #2: Custer?
Male lawyer #1: I rest my case.
Female lawyer #2: And just what does any of this have to do with Cracker Barrel?
Male lawyer #1: You ever take a look at who eats there?
–Civil Court, Sutphin Boulevard, Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Wednesday One-Liners Find Nemo
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!
–Steps, The Met
Overheard by: gossipgirlish
Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?
–Central Park East
Overheard by: walter
Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.
–D Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.
–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave
Wednesday One-Liners Should Have Hired a Sherpa
Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: oliver
Tourist to companion: We've left the village now, but I don't think this is Soho.
–Stanton & Orchard
Middle-aged woman in sharp looking suit: I thought Croatia was an Asian country in Europe.
–4 Train
Woman to friends: I had four kids today label New York in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I am such a great teacher.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mickey and Gabe
We May Have a New Worst Hampton
Young guy talking to two blonde twenty-somethings: I'm going up to Lake George for the 4th.
Blonde 20-something #1: I've never been there.
Blonde 20-something #2: Lake George? Is that near The Hamptons?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Carrie