Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.
–W Train
Archive for the ‘Vagina’ Category
Only in New York and Only in Her
Cum slut: I thought the spermicide would take the sperm away. But it stayed in there and just got itchy. And burns. –Ginger, Ave. A Overheard by: Tibbie X
My Nuts are Chickpeas
Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!
–East Village
Overheard by: Nicole Weber
In Person, Miley and Billy Ray Are Pretty Much What You'd Expect.
Guy, on Nextel: Hey, honey.
Girl, on other end of Nextel: Dad, I'm pissed! I think he's cheating on me.
Guy: Why do you say that?
Girl: Cause my vagina is itchy and red.
Guy: Well, maybe you should go get checked.
Girl: But dad, what should I do?
Guy: Honey, let me call you back, I'm about to pay the cashier… call you in a little.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: OZoNE
Have Skirts Gotten Too Short? Discuss.
Girl #1: I think my tampon is stuck in my v-j-j.
Girl #2: I that happened to me once.
Little boy, walking by: Mommy whats a “v-j-j?”
Mom: Your father will buy you one when you're 21.
Girl #1: Can you have a look for me?
Girl #2, looking: Damn, it looks like a mouse!
–47th St
“…Now Write Something Nice About My Balls”
Peppy Latina: I'm gonna read you a love letter.
Bored girl: Whatever.
Peppy Latina: Henry the VIII to Anne Boleyn…
Bored girl: Whatever, he beheaded her.
Peppy Latina: Man, why you gotta harsh it?
Bored girl: Dude, have you read James Joyce's letters to his wife? Those are disgusting!
Peppy Latina: Disgusting like sappy? Cute? Awful?
Bored girl: No, disgusting like “I can't wait until I'm back in Ireland smelling your v-j-j” disgusting.
–82nd & 5th
Wednesday One-Liners Love Drunk Talk
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
–116th St
Wednesday One-Liners Find Nemo
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!
–Steps, The Met
Overheard by: gossipgirlish
Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?
–Central Park East
Overheard by: walter
Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.
–D Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.
–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave
We Also Would Have Accepted “'Copping' a Feel”
Drunk brunette #1 to cop: We're what you call us… Badge bangers!
Drunk brunette #2: Yeah!
–Canal & Centre
Overheard by: Tits McGhee
Either Way, We're Talking About Small Leather Goods, Right?
Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”
–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave
Overheard by: Emily