Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema… –50th & 8th Overheard by: chris Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal! –1st Ave & St. Mark's Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes. –Central Park Overheard by: Lola Black Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked. –W 4th St 20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria. –Café
Guy #1: Yo, did you just check out the vagina on that mannequin?
Guy #2: Yeah, is that weird?
Guy #1: Nah, I did too. –57th & 5th Overheard by: alex
Girl: So I’m saying… Would you murder my pussy?
Guy: Hell nah.
Girl: Why not?
Guy, laughing: I’ll end up in jail, ma.
Guy: You can’t handle me, trust. My dick is deadly. It will kill you and your pussy. –Brooklyn
Girl #1: God, it smells like chicken McNuggets in here.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah, that’s just my poonan. –Elevator, Times Square Arts Center
New wave boy: You're like Lou Reed with a vagina.
New wave girl: Since when did he not have one?
Random stoner friend: Hey, do you want to get Indian food!?
New wave girl: What would Lou Reed do? –2nd Ave &14th Overheard by: Mischa
Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days. –3rd between B & C Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience. –124th & Manhattan Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone. –LIRR Overheard by: Squatporpoise Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys. –NYU School of social work Overheard by: Maggie
Eastern European in velour jumpsuit, approaching guy on street: Sup, cuz. Hey, remember to give it to Ricky tonight for that thing tomorrow. It's a good size. Alright, see you later. –89th & 3rd Overheard by: Ben A Girl to friends: And then she was like, "yeah, let me look at you with my weirdly oversized eyeballs." –Court St., Brooklyn Overheard by: iwn2000 Female suit on phone: We need to get them! (pause) No! They're too big! They won't fit in the hole! –Broadway Guy: Masculinity is determined by the size of your (slight pause) army… –Millennium High School Little girl, carrying tiny stick: Look! I have the biggest stick in the world! –Central Park
Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance. –F train Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no. –42nd between 9th & 10th
Older, dirty-looking hobo: Hey, spare me some change, all I want tonight is a hooker and some malt liquor. –Ave A & 4th St 20-something girl: Seriously! There is nothing better after a stressful day than stealing a car, picking up a hooker, taking her to the beach, fucking her, killing her, getting your money back and not getting arrested. Nothing! –Underhill & St. Mark's, Brooklyn Overheard by: Claire H. Young woman to boss: If you don't give me more hours, I'mma have to start sellin' my pussy! –Chelsea Overheard by: Holly Subway musician in drag the night before Valentine's Day: Be with the one you love! If you don't have anyone, then hire somebody! And keep your receipt! –Columbus Circle Overheard by: Morning Glory Musician on train platform: Everything gonna be alright! Get home safe, New York. Remember: if you see something, say something, don't keep it to yourself. And remember, New York, if you can't be with the one you love, pay someone! Keep all the receipts. I know what I'm talking about. –B Train Overheard by: Free Love
Crazy hobo (to the tune of Elvis’ Hound dog): Ain’t nothing but a hound dog! (mutters next two lines) And you never fuck a rabbit in the ass, cause that’s just a waste of time!
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Man, to the tune of Hit Me Baby One More Time: I need to pee out of my urethra.
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy in back of the bus wearing headphones and singing: (almost inaudible) I wanna die…I just wanna die.
(everyone stares at him)
Guy: (almost inaudible) I wanna die… I wanna dieeeeeeee. –Bx 9 Bus, Fordham Plaza Overheard by: Krisztina, sitting right in front of him Homeless guy singing while shaking paper cup full of change: Oh me, oh my… There goes perfection. Oh me, oh my… Here comes an erection. –13th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: rolf Young Hispanic man singing to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven: And there’s a wino down the road! –E train Overheard by: In_the_Shadows Crazy hobo signing to two passing women: Vaaaggiiinnnaaa… Vaaagggiiiinnaaaa. (stretches out his neck towards them and emphasizes) Vaaaaggggiiiiinnnaaaaaa! –Near NYU Overheard by: Joe