Woman: She had sex with a dragon. She had sex with a dragon! I keep seeing her and wantin’ to ask, “Yo, how’s the dragon?” –Ollie’s, 69th & Broadway Overheard by: Nick Draven Virgin-For-Life on cell: Did you vanquish the dragon?…Yo, I told you to vanquish the dragon! Dumb ass nigga. Damn. –Gristedes, West Village Overheard by: KoryD Nanny to little boy: I think each country must have its own Tooth Fairy. –5th & President, Park Slope Overheard by: b Hipster on cell: It’s cooler, and you’re a vampire. Ok, I get it. –6th St & 1st Ave
Frat boy #1: I’ve been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Dude, this book makes so much sense. I totally understand women now.
Frat boy #2: Yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah. This girl at work, she was all into me and shit and I totally cut her off, it was cold. She was so annoying. I really understand how to deal with women now. It explains all their games and translates what they’re saying.
Frat boy #2: So I’m reading this book about Transylvanian necrophiliacs… –1 Train Overheard by: Suzanne
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train
Guy: …and then I'd be a cyborg.
Overheard by: Nicole Q
Man on cell: But wouldn't that make you a vampire?
Crazy guy, returning after briefly exiting car: I tried to make it to the end of the train, but I was blocked by a teenage werewolf. I have encountered them before, but never outside Brooklyn.
Overheard by: Canucking Futs
Guy on phone: In your next life, you're gonna come back as a vampire.
Dude, marveling to another on train: Damn, son, you look like Godzilla with a fade.
Hipster waiter: The fucking gnome took my remote control. The one thing in the world that I love. I told him, "you can take anything except the remote control." And sure enough, he took the fucking remote control.
British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
Mother of 8-year-old: I don't mind that my son is so into zombies, Jesus was a zombie technically. After all, it's a healthy way for him to find our religion.
Mother of 10-year-old: I never thought about it that way. (to son) Joseph, do you like zombies?
Overheard by: sarah-Jaana Nodell
Old hippie, after Furthur show: Wow! I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect that!
Wife: I thought that after Jerry died, it was all over!
Old hippie: Man, I swear, there were times I'd look up, and I swear I saw Jerry on the stage!
Wife: His spirit!
Old hippie: How much spirit can you have to leave so much spirit behind?!
–MCU Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margarita
Woman: Excuse me. What is the play's running time?
Man: Nine hours. And if you leave, Susan Sontag will rise from the dead and smack you down.
Student #1 in an acting class, doing warmup: Buh!
Student #2: Buh!
Student #3: Buh!
Student #4, not paying attention: Huh?
–Shakespeare Workshops, Public Theater
Frazzled mother to young child: Hurry. Hurry. Look, the monster is going to get you if you don't walk faster!
Mother to small child: If you eat your two pieces of chicken, I'll give you a raisin.
–College Point Shopping Center
Overheard by: Yesenia
Mom speaking to son: Sweetie, do I look like a eggbeater?
Woman on bus to child with large hearing aid: Sit down properly! Are you listening to me?
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Mother to whiny toddler: I can't listen to you anymore! I fear for both of us.
–15th St & University Place
Overheard by: Sarah M.