Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!
–10th Ave, Meatpacking District
Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?
–Grand Central Place
Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…
–E. Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Luke McPartlin
Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!
–86th St & Lexington
Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)
–Upper East Side
Archive for the ‘Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!’ Category
Wednesday Two-Become-One Liners
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!
–Washington Square Park
Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!
–Naked Lunch, Tribeca
Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!
–E Train
Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…
–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village
Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day
Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.
–W 123rd & 8th Ave
Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.
–Staten Island
In That It Sucks for All Eternity
Girl #1, in line for movie: This line is so long. Maybe we should go see another movie and come back and get our phones after.
Girl #2: That's not a bad idea. What could we see?
Girl #1: I would totally see Twilight again.
Girl #2: I didn't see it the first time you guys went.
Girl #1: Oh my god! You would love it! Did you like Degrassi?
Girl #2: Of course! That show is awesome.
Girl #1: Well Twilight is like Degrassi but with vampires. It's awesome!
–Loews Lincoln Center Theater
Overheard by: Suffering in silence
Natalie Portman: Too Late!
Young hipster: Dude, and then she told me that it was her purpose in life to make the movie Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!
Bearded hipster: Yeah, that would be epically sound!
–49th St
Dial “M” for Wednesday One-Liner
Man with entourage: So I killed one just before I went to sleep. (entourage laughs) Yeah, and I left it on her ceiling as a warning.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Dude walking down street: And if I kill him, I'm certified to bring him back to life…
–Brooklyn
Old man to another: You know, I don't even give a shit if I die anymore!
–E 84th St
Girl to friend: Why would you put the poison in milk?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michela
20-something guy: Fucking corduroy! I've gotta tell ya, I fucking love corduroy! I swear to god, I'd kill for corduroy!
–J.Crew Men's Store
Overheard by: Pedro
He's Not Kidding, Dear Reader
College boy #1: But what if zombies overtook Manhattan?
College boy #2: Then we'd be fucked. Simple as that. They're too many people here, the entire island would be zombies.
College boy #1: But what if we hid out in K-mart? With guns?
College boy #2: You mean the K-mart we just passed? Even if we managed to barricade the doors, there's an entrance to the subway, we'd be fucked.
College #1: I wonder what the zombie survival guide has to say about this.
–3rd Ave & St. Mark's
That's What a Werewolf Would Say
Crazy guy: You have sign of werewolf!
Outraged bystander: No, you're the werewolf!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners
College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.
–Central Park
Overheard by: ruegah
NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.
–NYU Tisch Building
Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Preston
Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.
–Music Hall of Williamsburg
Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.
–Borders
For Compliments, Like Most Guys?
Guy in business casual: Deer, zombies, Nazis… They're all fair game in my book.
Friend: I've never been hunting before, but I do like fishing.
–73rd St
Overheard by: Irish Dave
Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners
NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.
–University & 4th St
Overheard by: sarah
Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!
–147th & Convent
Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.
–Park Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: Christopher Schulz
Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.
–Macy's
Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?
–Meatpacking District
Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack