A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train
Guy: …and then I'd be a cyborg.
Overheard by: Nicole Q
Man on cell: But wouldn't that make you a vampire?
Crazy guy, returning after briefly exiting car: I tried to make it to the end of the train, but I was blocked by a teenage werewolf. I have encountered them before, but never outside Brooklyn.
Overheard by: Canucking Futs
Guy on phone: In your next life, you're gonna come back as a vampire.
Dude, marveling to another on train: Damn, son, you look like Godzilla with a fade.
Hipster waiter: The fucking gnome took my remote control. The one thing in the world that I love. I told him, "you can take anything except the remote control." And sure enough, he took the fucking remote control.
British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
Old hippie, after Furthur show: Wow! I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect that!
Wife: I thought that after Jerry died, it was all over!
Old hippie: Man, I swear, there were times I'd look up, and I swear I saw Jerry on the stage!
Wife: His spirit!
Old hippie: How much spirit can you have to leave so much spirit behind?!
–MCU Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margarita
Woman: Excuse me. What is the play's running time?
Man: Nine hours. And if you leave, Susan Sontag will rise from the dead and smack you down.
Student #1 in an acting class, doing warmup: Buh!
Student #2: Buh!
Student #3: Buh!
Student #4, not paying attention: Huh?
–Shakespeare Workshops, Public Theater
Frazzled mother to young child: Hurry. Hurry. Look, the monster is going to get you if you don't walk faster!
Mother to small child: If you eat your two pieces of chicken, I'll give you a raisin.
–College Point Shopping Center
Overheard by: Yesenia
Mom speaking to son: Sweetie, do I look like a eggbeater?
Woman on bus to child with large hearing aid: Sit down properly! Are you listening to me?
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Mother to whiny toddler: I can't listen to you anymore! I fear for both of us.
–15th St & University Place
Overheard by: Sarah M.
Guy on phone on Halloween night: So I realize it's last minute, but we need a fourth ghostbuster… and you are black.
Overheard by: Supertaint
Teenage girl to group of friends: Ya know, I used to think that John Lennon and John Legend were the same person. Every time I saw John Legend I thought, "damn, that's whack that John Lennon would walk around in black face!"
–M116 Bus, East Harlem
Overheard by: NC
20-something black guy to 20-something white girl: It's New Year's Eve, baby–have sex with a black man tonight! Have sex with a black man on New Year's Eve! (girl laughs, turns to look at him) Hey–it don't have to be me! It's New Year's Eve, have sex with a black man tonight!
–Suffolk & Delancey
Passenger, about ghetto kids who just got off train: Damn, they were like the black Jersey Shore!
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: kids these days
Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!
–10th Ave, Meatpacking District
Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?
–Grand Central Place
Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…
–E. Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Luke McPartlin
Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!
–86th St & Lexington
Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)
–Upper East Side
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!
–Washington Square Park
Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!
–Naked Lunch, Tribeca
Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!
Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…
–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village
Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day
Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.
–W 123rd & 8th Ave
Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.