Archive for the ‘Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!’ Category

The Final Solution to Wednesday One-Liners

College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.

–Central Park

Overheard by: ruegah

NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.

–NYU Tisch Building

Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Preston

Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.

–Music Hall of Williamsburg

Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.

–Borders

Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.

–University & 4th St

Overheard by: sarah

Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!

–147th & Convent

Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.

–Park Ave & Spring St

Overheard by: Christopher Schulz

Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.

–Macy's

Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?

–Meatpacking District

Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack

He Looks So Cute in His Jammies

Woman picking out watch for Christmas list: I'll put this one on my list. Carl'll get it for me.
Friend: What are you gonna get him?
Woman: I'm taking him to the eye doctor and getting him glasses.
Friend: So he can see how pretty you are.
Woman: Actually, it's so he can see his Nazi zombies on his Xbox.

–Bloomingdale's

Overheard by: yeppers

It's the Great Wednesday One-Liner, Charlie Brown

Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.

–A Train

Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?

–Halloween Adventure

Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!

–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: kathcom

Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!

–Downtown 6 Train

Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.

–Downtown 6 train

Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: J. Ra

Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.

–Soho

Overheard by: Edan

How Are Wednesday One-Liners Like Network TV, Alex?

Guy to boyfriend: I think you're boring. I'm bored.

–W 15th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Thompson

Woman on cell: I got so bored at work that I started talking to my mosquito bite! I told it to stop making me itch.

–58th St & 9th Ave

11-year-old boy to friends: I'm not ready for death. It's boring. All you do is fly around in the air.

–7 Train

Kid to family, looking at camels: I'm just gonna come right out and say it: 'dis is really fuckin' boring!

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Tyler