A trader is on his cell while on the toilet. Trader: Is there a time-frame here? Through the stall is heard the response. Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time. –Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza Overheard by: Aaron H.
Girl in stall: Oh, shit, I dropped my phone in the toilet! The phone rings. Girl in stall: And how the hell am I supposed to answer that now?! –2nd Ave Deli bathroom Overheard by: Rue Silver
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID. –outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street Overheard by: pb dot c
Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
Girl #1: What’s up?
Girl #2: Still recovering from last night.
Girl #1: It wasn’t that bad.
Girl #2: What? I passed out and woke up naked in the club.
Girl #1: See, I told you.
–Internet cafe, 63rd Drive, Queens
Overheard by: Interested Listener
Guy #1: You do such dumb shit.
Guy #2: I do not.
Guy #1: Well, what about that E-trades tattoo on your leg?
Guy #2: I’m hardcore! –1 train Chick: Sell-out by day…
Suit: Shut up, okay? Whatever pays the bills. –CBGBs, The Bowery Overheard by: Sarah Royal Drunk guy on cell: Dude, that’s crap, you gotta live hardcore! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Teen girl: Man this sucks. Where are all the punks? –8th & Broadway Overheard by: Mary Chick: Darryl doesn’t even know what hardcore is, first off. He was all, “What, is that like some kind of porn?”. –2nd & A Overheard by: Kira Punk girl: Fight bureaucracy!
Suit: You’re not the boss of me. –Leonard between Broadway & Church Overheard by: Lakini Malich
Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ. –Bodega, Houston & 6th
Jappy highschool queen bee to Starbucks guy wearing earrings: Are those real diamonds?
Twentysomething African-American Starbucks guy: No.
Jappy highschool queen bee: Awwww I’ll mail you some real ones for your Bar Mitzvah, okay? –Stabrucks, 78th & Lex
Chick #1: Is that George W. Bush?
Chick #2: Really? Where?
Chick #1: Oh no, wait. It’s Mayor Bloomberg.
Chick #2: I was gonna say, that would be a step up for him! –Nederlander Theatre, W41st Overheard by: Dani B
Guy #1: Jesus Christ! Michael Stipe has a big fucking head.
Guy #2: I was thinking about walking up and talking to him, for the simple reason that I haven’t liked him for so many years. –The Walter Reade Theater, Lincoln Center Overheard by: El Cubano