Archive for the ‘Venues’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Built the Tower of Babel

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown? –14th & University Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing. –Walker & Lafayette Overheard by: Wolf Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research. –Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: nosy cinephile Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec. –13th & University Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans? –Office, W 36th St Overheard by: Evan Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is. –Tea Lounge, Park Slope Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes! –Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested? –Walgreens, Union Square Overheard by: Goldie Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much. –I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish! –Tompkins Square Park Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier. –Century 21 Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months! –TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th Overheard by: Shaina

Oh, Just Like You Bringing Me to Orgasm?

Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?

–Liberty Island

Overheard by: Colman

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Big-Boned

Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese! –1 train Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass! –Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym! –Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn Overheard by: elwood Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island. –Queens Center Mall Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat. –Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God! –Q46 bus Overheard by: Melissa

Wednesday One-Liners: Cha-ching!

Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money? –47th & 5th Overheard by: Adam Bertocci Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money! –M14 bus Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change! –14th between 5th & University Overheard by: theNJl Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money. –Starbucks, 27th & Park Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson

Another Teen Emergency. Call the Ambivalence.

Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.

–Queens College campus

Overheard by: Peter G.

‘…A Nation Where They Will Not be Judged by the Color of Their Skin, But by the Blood Alcohol Content of Their Character’

Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek! –30th & 3rd