Thug on cell, after helping an old women with a walker out of the doorway: Yeah, man, you know me. Slashing tires and rapin’ women, that’s what I’m all about. –Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: InnocentlyEvil
Queer: Yeah, and then she started getting letters telling her how ugly she was…
Fruit flies: Oooh! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Must have been pretty f’ing ugly
Sassy black lady on crowded train: Excuse me!
Irritated suit: There's nowhere else to go!
Sassy black lady: No! I bump you! I bump you, so I said “excuse me!” –Downtown A Train
Teenage gang chick with comb in hair: So, my momma sez, so, show me yo’ socks, yo’ shoes…no, the inside of yo’ shoes…and she’s like, take out this blade and this blade and this blade, and I’m like Yo, I need protection! And she’s like Yo, you gots your comb and shit…How does she know this shit? –A train downtown, 145th st
Young urban male: He didn’t hit you hard enough.
Young urban female: Yes, he did.
Young urban male: No, he hit you soft. *BAF*
Young urban female: The last time he hit me, he hit me mad hard. –D Train
Young child: Mom, that girl hit me!
Mom: What? You go back there and punch her back! No one hits my daughter besides me! –Columbia St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Lisa
Teen girl #1: I choked that girl.
Teen girl #2: You did what?
Teen girl #1: I choked the bitch.
Teen girl #2: Ok, let’s talk about this when we cross 125th Street. –2 train, 34th St Overheard by: dj dradle
Litte boy: Dad, what’s something I can learn?
Dad: Do you know how to use a chainsaw? I can see if I can get the chainsaw working. –B train Overheard by: The Bling Guy #1: How was that class for you? Was it like a war?
Guy #2: For me? It was more like walking through a preschool with a chainsaw. –181st & Broadway
Hobo: If anyone messes with you in the office, just take the palm of your hand an shove it into his nose. Once he messes with you he ain’t Jerry from accounting no more; he’s an assailant and the rest of the office will respect and fear you.
Woman: How did your last office job work out? –L train Overheard by: JDS
Woman: A hundred dollars worth of squeaky toys and you eat garbage off the floor! I don’t get it. –22nd & 7th Overheard by: debo Teenage boy: Once I hit the blind kid that lives downstairs with a ball and I felt so bad but it had me thinking, “what if he got his sight back by me hitting him?”. I would be like, “yo, you have your sight back thanks to me, give me some money.” –2 train Girl on cell: Your ass is, like, slightly cuter than my face. –Union Square