Professor: If any of you are sad about Anna Nicole, see me after class. I’ll give you a bitch slap.
Family man: We watched two guys fight to the death over a parking space, and then we went to the Ice Capades.
–Central Park, W 72nd
Overheard by: Rachel
Conductor: There will be no fighting on my train! Y’all gonna make me miss my lunch!
Overheard by: Shawnito
Hobo to entire platform: You’ve seen cripple fights. You’ve seen hobo boxing. Now prepare yourselves for rich white assholes pushing to get on the train. [Train pulls in.] Briefcases may be used as shields. Good luck, folks.
–4/5 platform, Union Square
Overheard by: Orson
Father holding daughter’s hand: You can’t just kick people when you don’t get what you want, Victoria.
–Mott & Canal St
Overheard by: Marie
Teacher: See that guy in the mural? See how many muscles he has? If he wanted to, he could kick your ass. Look at Galileo. Even Galileo could kick your ass!
–Brooklyn Tech High School
Overheard by: Liz
Six-year-old: If you go to my school, you get yo’ ass jumped.
–107th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Emily B.