Archive for the ‘Virginity’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Count Anal

Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Tom

Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: tomas

Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Jake M

Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.

–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.

Overheard by: CreativeBunny

Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!

–Ave C

Wednesday One-Liners May Need to Pay for It

Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.

–1 train

Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.

–96th St station

Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?

–Sushi restaurant, Soho

Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.

–E 61st & Lex

Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.

–E 23rd & Lex

Overheard by: Jake

Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.

–Leon M. Goldstein High

Overheard by: Hand-banana

At the TMI Quarterfinals

Girl #1: Yeah, it sucked. The first time I had sex was in the projects. It was just this random guy and he was like “wanna go to my house?” So I did, and we had sex. But then I didn't know that when you had sex for the first time you bleed a lot, right? So like I was bleeding everywhere. And I didn't notice. And all these random people were like “ew!”. And I was sitting on Brandon's couch, and he was like “what's that?” And I'm like “Uh, your sister's crayon.” So then they were all sitting on it, and fucking around on it…
Girl #2: Ewwwwwww!
Girl #1: Coz she left crayons on the couch. But then the next day his mom came! And like, boys don't get periods.

–104th & West End

Wednesday One-Liners Rob the Cradle

Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??

–Simon Baruch Middle School

Overheard by: the art major

Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.

–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Maianess

20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup

Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.

–Grand Central Station

Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: inching away

Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!

–Wagner College

Overheard by: good to know

Guys: Lucky Thirteen

Tall B&T girl: So then we made out and were all over each other and it was all PDA, and then we lost our virginities to each other. And I felt guilty because I was, like, 18, and he was, like, a minor.
Short B&T girl: Well how old was he?
Tall B&T girl: (silence)
Short B&T girl: Come on, most guys are like 15 when they lose their virginity.
Tall B&T girl: He was thirteen.
Short B&T girl: Oh.

–75th & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane