Archive for the ‘Virginity’ Category

At the TMI Quarterfinals

Girl #1: Yeah, it sucked. The first time I had sex was in the projects. It was just this random guy and he was like “wanna go to my house?” So I did, and we had sex. But then I didn't know that when you had sex for the first time you bleed a lot, right? So like I was bleeding everywhere. And I didn't notice. And all these random people were like “ew!”. And I was sitting on Brandon's couch, and he was like “what's that?” And I'm like “Uh, your sister's crayon.” So then they were all sitting on it, and fucking around on it…
Girl #2: Ewwwwwww!
Girl #1: Coz she left crayons on the couch. But then the next day his mom came! And like, boys don't get periods. –104th & West End

Wednesday One-Liners Rob the Cradle

Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that?? –Simon Baruch Middle School Overheard by: the art major Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children. –Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway Overheard by: Maianess 20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid. –Grand Central Station Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation! –Astor Place Overheard by: inching away Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile! –Wagner College Overheard by: good to know

Guys: Lucky Thirteen

Tall B&T girl: So then we made out and were all over each other and it was all PDA, and then we lost our virginities to each other. And I felt guilty because I was, like, 18, and he was, like, a minor.
Short B&T girl: Well how old was he?
Tall B&T girl: (silence)
Short B&T girl: Come on, most guys are like 15 when they lose their virginity.
Tall B&T girl: He was thirteen.
Short B&T girl: Oh. –75th & Broadway Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Don’t Read Too Much Into Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books. –Blockbuster Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book. –A Train Overheard by: The Green Cat Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other? –Barnes & Noble, Union Square Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books. –Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything? –Starbucks, Woolworth Building NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life. –NYU Dining Hall

Wednesday Gettin'-None Liners

Man screaming into phone: We've been having fun and fun and fun. The thing we ain't having is fucking sex! –Greenpoint Overheard by: LisaLisa Psych prof: Now, I don't know anyone who's ever died from not having sex. Maybe they tried to get some and failed in some horrible way that led to their demise, but I don't know anyone who's actually died from not having sex. (later) If you go on a starvation diet, which I don't recommend, be sure to drink water because, uh, you will die. –Barnard College Overheard by: High Aspirations Guy to friend: He's fucking 57 years old and he's still a fucking virgin. –W Broadway & Thomas Gay man to straight female friend: I haven't had sex in almost two years… I need to get a dog. –G Train Overheard by: Sunny